Great read. Hope your finger heals soon. That hurts!
Also, congratulations on your two anniversaries. Both are borne of so many concessions and compromises. And hard work. I’ve been married 28 years. Every day is a new discovery.
My favorite books exploring marriage are Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler and The Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg.
My favorite book on the planet is Crossing To Safety. I just love Wallace Stegner. Some say this book is semi-autobiographical. He and his wife had a very long marriage, only undone by his untimely death from a car accident. I also love the audio version of the book. The narrator brings it to life. I listen every year. (I know, I’m boring, lol)
I thought of Breathing Lessons later on. It's a wonderful novel, isn't it? I'm struggling a bit with Crossing to Safety having started it. perhaps it is a matter of timing.
Can a 62-year-old woman who's never been married find happiness with a 2-time widower seeking his 3rd wife on Craigslist? What he will she gain and what must she give up? Answers are in NEVER TOO LATE: From Wannabe to Wife at 62. If you Google NEVER TOO LATE + Goodwin it should come up.
"Dept. of Speculation" by Jenny Offill is the best book on marriage I've read recently. Here's the second paragraph of as review in the NYTimes by Roxane Gay (1914): " Jenny Offill’s second novel, “Dept. of Speculation,” charts the course of a marriage through curious, often shimmering fragments of prose. A writer lives in Brooklyn. A writer lives in Brooklyn and falls in love. A writer in Brooklyn marries and has a child. A married writer in Brooklyn lives, and then there are bedbugs. The novel is, at times, reminiscent of Renata Adler’s “Speedboat” with a less bitter edge. Seemingly significant information is doled out in inscrutable doses. Each fragment is satisfying or not, and exists unto itself but also, clearly, as part of something bigger. “Dept. of Speculation” moves quickly, but it is also joyously demanding because you will want to keep trying to understand the why of each fragment and how it fits with the others."
Long term relationships are still a big mystery. We don’t know what mortar couples are using to hold it together or if it’s an illusion created by spectators and the couple themselves. The concept is fascinating.
You're right. The more I thought about the mystery of marriage and thought about two people coming together either voluntarily or via an arranged marriage, the more I was struck by how we can never know what truly happens behind the surface.
I suck at marriage; I've been married twice, both failed, but the last one failed miserably. I'm old enough and set in my ways that I prefer my life without someone constantly annoying me. I'm sure I would have a different outlook on marriage had chosen better, but since I didn't twice, I'm not interested in trying again.
I too discovered Might Blaze during the early days of the pandemic and have listened/watched several events and author chats. The events were life savers for me at that time.
I stay away from politics and anything adjacent to it under this account, so I will keep my comments to myself about Chris Cuomo. I have another Substack account for reading and commenting only. I try to keep my newsletter and this account free from anything controversial. I much prefer to get lost in the dozens of newsletters I follow that bring me joy instead of all the strife of real life right now.
Thanks for being one of the newsletters that provides joy. :)
First: Happy Double Anniversary! Second: Cuomo shouldn't have fired - he supported his brother, who was the de facto leader of the country in the early months of the burgeoning pandemic...
‘Stoner’ by John Williams made me cry, so graphic is his description of a marriage I recognised, then Chapter 8* of ‘Birthday’ by Alan Sillitoe, celebrates how the everyday can make marriage such a joyous affair, even when the inevitable is in plain sight. Both I know from experience.
NOTE: * If I could only have one chapter from one book this would be it. As I have mentioned before Betsy, if it was a book it would have to be ‘A Month in the Country’ by J L Carr, which has two marriages for the reader to observe (an honest marriage versus a screwed-up marriage).
Ah yes, “Stoner”! You are right of course. That was a very interesting marriage. I’m very interested in both the Sillitoe book and the Carr book. Thank you, Robert!
Thank you Betsy. Alan Sillitoe’s “Birthday’ dates from 2001 and the characters are all pensioners as good as, some having been lead characters in his most famous novel (and his first), ‘Saturday Night and Sunday Morning’ published in 1958. Both are set in inner-city Nottingham and it’s council (public) housing estates, and the part of the city where Susan, my wife, and I lived for 35 years (1979-2014) and we know well. He was a self-taught working class writer full of grit and humour, just like his characters. Personally, I like ‘Birthday’ more. Perhaps all this is more than you want to know. Your account of your own marital spats suggests a humour that could be fed into your own writing. I feel a story coming on…. ‘Coffee in the garage’….
My moment of Zen:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NIaQQl1pmlIDtDkEgDptYcg8MOa7SH0R/view?usp=sharing
I love this face!
She looks like she's roaring but really it's a yawn while she snuggles with my favorite puffy vest.
Great read. Hope your finger heals soon. That hurts!
Also, congratulations on your two anniversaries. Both are borne of so many concessions and compromises. And hard work. I’ve been married 28 years. Every day is a new discovery.
My favorite books exploring marriage are Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler and The Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg.
My favorite book on the planet is Crossing To Safety. I just love Wallace Stegner. Some say this book is semi-autobiographical. He and his wife had a very long marriage, only undone by his untimely death from a car accident. I also love the audio version of the book. The narrator brings it to life. I listen every year. (I know, I’m boring, lol)
I thought of Breathing Lessons later on. It's a wonderful novel, isn't it? I'm struggling a bit with Crossing to Safety having started it. perhaps it is a matter of timing.
Can a 62-year-old woman who's never been married find happiness with a 2-time widower seeking his 3rd wife on Craigslist? What he will she gain and what must she give up? Answers are in NEVER TOO LATE: From Wannabe to Wife at 62. If you Google NEVER TOO LATE + Goodwin it should come up.
"Dept. of Speculation" by Jenny Offill is the best book on marriage I've read recently. Here's the second paragraph of as review in the NYTimes by Roxane Gay (1914): " Jenny Offill’s second novel, “Dept. of Speculation,” charts the course of a marriage through curious, often shimmering fragments of prose. A writer lives in Brooklyn. A writer lives in Brooklyn and falls in love. A writer in Brooklyn marries and has a child. A married writer in Brooklyn lives, and then there are bedbugs. The novel is, at times, reminiscent of Renata Adler’s “Speedboat” with a less bitter edge. Seemingly significant information is doled out in inscrutable doses. Each fragment is satisfying or not, and exists unto itself but also, clearly, as part of something bigger. “Dept. of Speculation” moves quickly, but it is also joyously demanding because you will want to keep trying to understand the why of each fragment and how it fits with the others."
Whoops. 2014, not 1914...
You are RIGHT. "Department of Speculation" was terrific and her approach to the story/the structure was fascinating and fresh for me.
Highly recommend "An American Marriage" by Tayari Jones. Brilliant, insightful, and moving. No one is a "bad guy", both are simply human.
I loved this novel for the same reasons.
Long term relationships are still a big mystery. We don’t know what mortar couples are using to hold it together or if it’s an illusion created by spectators and the couple themselves. The concept is fascinating.
You're right. The more I thought about the mystery of marriage and thought about two people coming together either voluntarily or via an arranged marriage, the more I was struck by how we can never know what truly happens behind the surface.
Loved this issue, Betsy. Just wonderful 👏
Thank you, Terrell!
Becky your Spark is a gem! Love the topics, the vulnerability and the passion you express!
Thx , Grace. And I know you meant Betsy, not Becky. :)
I suck at marriage; I've been married twice, both failed, but the last one failed miserably. I'm old enough and set in my ways that I prefer my life without someone constantly annoying me. I'm sure I would have a different outlook on marriage had chosen better, but since I didn't twice, I'm not interested in trying again.
I too discovered Might Blaze during the early days of the pandemic and have listened/watched several events and author chats. The events were life savers for me at that time.
I stay away from politics and anything adjacent to it under this account, so I will keep my comments to myself about Chris Cuomo. I have another Substack account for reading and commenting only. I try to keep my newsletter and this account free from anything controversial. I much prefer to get lost in the dozens of newsletters I follow that bring me joy instead of all the strife of real life right now.
Thanks for being one of the newsletters that provides joy. :)
First: Happy Double Anniversary! Second: Cuomo shouldn't have fired - he supported his brother, who was the de facto leader of the country in the early months of the burgeoning pandemic...
‘Stoner’ by John Williams made me cry, so graphic is his description of a marriage I recognised, then Chapter 8* of ‘Birthday’ by Alan Sillitoe, celebrates how the everyday can make marriage such a joyous affair, even when the inevitable is in plain sight. Both I know from experience.
NOTE: * If I could only have one chapter from one book this would be it. As I have mentioned before Betsy, if it was a book it would have to be ‘A Month in the Country’ by J L Carr, which has two marriages for the reader to observe (an honest marriage versus a screwed-up marriage).
Ah yes, “Stoner”! You are right of course. That was a very interesting marriage. I’m very interested in both the Sillitoe book and the Carr book. Thank you, Robert!
Thank you Betsy. Alan Sillitoe’s “Birthday’ dates from 2001 and the characters are all pensioners as good as, some having been lead characters in his most famous novel (and his first), ‘Saturday Night and Sunday Morning’ published in 1958. Both are set in inner-city Nottingham and it’s council (public) housing estates, and the part of the city where Susan, my wife, and I lived for 35 years (1979-2014) and we know well. He was a self-taught working class writer full of grit and humour, just like his characters. Personally, I like ‘Birthday’ more. Perhaps all this is more than you want to know. Your account of your own marital spats suggests a humour that could be fed into your own writing. I feel a story coming on…. ‘Coffee in the garage’….