sometimes something else happens, other than what you'd planned or expected. i really do feel that things play out the way they were meant to, and our approach to trying to find the best in going with the flow makes all the difference. if we go at it with anger, disappointment, or frustration, we may not get the best out of it, though when reflecting later, we often see the reasons and benefit to the way things happened. happy birthday to you, and thank you for the gift of your writing/newletters that you share with us. best, beth
I think you are right about the importance of how we approach the things that happen "instead". I can think of one thing that took years for me to get past but when I did, I breathed a huge sigh of relief that things had gone the way they did. Thanks for the birthday wishes and your kind words! Happy week to you, Beth!
Happy Birthday to you. It sounded perfect. The simple fact that you had all those options, even if some were derailed, is a blessing. And you look great.
I see lives disrupted and derailed every single day working in hospice. It makes me look at my life as fluid and helps us to be more spontaneous and not worry about plans that go amiss. Also my patients taught me to seek happiness on different roads and adventures, but keep the things you love close as they are the true anchor of your life; be they persons, pets or things. Sometimes they are books! I have many patients who love being read to at end of life; certainly I will be one of them.
As for your question regarding books; I buy a lot on Amazon to download onto my kindle as I love to read at night and this way I do not need a light on to disturb my sleeping husband. If I love the book, I buy the hard copy for my library. I also go to every library book sale I can get to and buy armloads. I donate books to the sale as well. I purchase books as gifts, mostly from small, independent book stores. If my daughter asks for a book, I buy it for her. She has quite a library and spent a lot of her youth in libraries and at book stores and sales. We also thrift for books often. Our motto is ‘never say no to a book.’
You are quite right, Janice, thank you for reminding me. Having those options was in itself a blessing, a huge blessing. As for your approach to acquiring and sharing books -- LOVE. I am an all-sources book collector. I struggle with letting any go but I do and have found that donating them to the library for sales usually results in a swap -- I bring home as many as I donate. It's really really hard to say no to books and that's a good thing.
Also: I felt an immediate sense of calm and peace when I envisioned being read to in my final days. Thank you for that image and that idea.
Wanted to add that many years ago, I read an excellent, moving, inspiring novel, Casualties, and recommended to the Coronado Public Library that they buy it, since the town is full of Navy and military families. They still have a copy listed in their library and an ebook too.
Happy birthday and thank you for this! It is interesting how our ability to let go helps us see things differently. I hope that ability is growing in me.
Thank you, Karen. Letting go is a big part of handling the unexpected or disappointing things that happen. Like you, I'm still practicing but I do feel it growing.
Happy birthday, Betsy! Your day (and your life!) truly sounds magical. And thank you for these great and film recommendations, can't wait to check out Four for Dinner (although I can see it's going to make me want to go to Italy) and Rules of Civility.
I don’t like the “instead”, I like the plan. Maybe it’s a need for control to make up for things unsaid, or a path I must tread on, but I go through snow or rain for the plan. If I know that plans can change, I make alternative ones or try to be flexible about the day it’s done, but I go full steam ahead.
Alternatives and flexibility make sense in every situation. I'm guessing you get a lot of what you hope for this way! Enjoying your newsletter so much, Chevanne.
I’m working on the flexibility part and making peace with plans changing. Everything changes and expecting to control so many variables... ugh. It’s self-imposed heartache.
I haven't thought of this but I do remember once hearing Colleen Dewhurst read out the whole Molly chapter -- all those yesses -- and loved it. Maybe I will read and listen -- soon.
My while life seems to be a result of a changed mind or circumstances. As a child I wanted to become an actor and I followed that path until I was 28, when I fell in love with and married a sailor and artist and left NYC behind for a year of sailing in Baja...I fell in love with sailing/adventuring and with writing, which led to my job at a publishing house. I've been an editor and writer since 1997, freelance since 2011, we are still living and working on our sailboat and I love my life and work.
sometimes something else happens, other than what you'd planned or expected. i really do feel that things play out the way they were meant to, and our approach to trying to find the best in going with the flow makes all the difference. if we go at it with anger, disappointment, or frustration, we may not get the best out of it, though when reflecting later, we often see the reasons and benefit to the way things happened. happy birthday to you, and thank you for the gift of your writing/newletters that you share with us. best, beth
I think you are right about the importance of how we approach the things that happen "instead". I can think of one thing that took years for me to get past but when I did, I breathed a huge sigh of relief that things had gone the way they did. Thanks for the birthday wishes and your kind words! Happy week to you, Beth!
Happy Birthday to you. It sounded perfect. The simple fact that you had all those options, even if some were derailed, is a blessing. And you look great.
I see lives disrupted and derailed every single day working in hospice. It makes me look at my life as fluid and helps us to be more spontaneous and not worry about plans that go amiss. Also my patients taught me to seek happiness on different roads and adventures, but keep the things you love close as they are the true anchor of your life; be they persons, pets or things. Sometimes they are books! I have many patients who love being read to at end of life; certainly I will be one of them.
As for your question regarding books; I buy a lot on Amazon to download onto my kindle as I love to read at night and this way I do not need a light on to disturb my sleeping husband. If I love the book, I buy the hard copy for my library. I also go to every library book sale I can get to and buy armloads. I donate books to the sale as well. I purchase books as gifts, mostly from small, independent book stores. If my daughter asks for a book, I buy it for her. She has quite a library and spent a lot of her youth in libraries and at book stores and sales. We also thrift for books often. Our motto is ‘never say no to a book.’
You are quite right, Janice, thank you for reminding me. Having those options was in itself a blessing, a huge blessing. As for your approach to acquiring and sharing books -- LOVE. I am an all-sources book collector. I struggle with letting any go but I do and have found that donating them to the library for sales usually results in a swap -- I bring home as many as I donate. It's really really hard to say no to books and that's a good thing.
Also: I felt an immediate sense of calm and peace when I envisioned being read to in my final days. Thank you for that image and that idea.
Wanted to add that many years ago, I read an excellent, moving, inspiring novel, Casualties, and recommended to the Coronado Public Library that they buy it, since the town is full of Navy and military families. They still have a copy listed in their library and an ebook too.
Awww...
Happy birthday and thank you for this! It is interesting how our ability to let go helps us see things differently. I hope that ability is growing in me.
Thank you, Karen. Letting go is a big part of handling the unexpected or disappointing things that happen. Like you, I'm still practicing but I do feel it growing.
Wishing you a wonderful birthday! That was a stunning paragraph from the Rules of Civility, something I'll spend a lot of time thinking about.
Thank you, Josh and yes, that last passage really got me thinking about a lot of things. I'm still reflecting on it.
Happy birthday, Betsy! Your day (and your life!) truly sounds magical. And thank you for these great and film recommendations, can't wait to check out Four for Dinner (although I can see it's going to make me want to go to Italy) and Rules of Civility.
I'm writing a memoir about our 18 month "Honeymoon at Sea"!
Yay!
Happy Birthday!
I don’t like the “instead”, I like the plan. Maybe it’s a need for control to make up for things unsaid, or a path I must tread on, but I go through snow or rain for the plan. If I know that plans can change, I make alternative ones or try to be flexible about the day it’s done, but I go full steam ahead.
Alternatives and flexibility make sense in every situation. I'm guessing you get a lot of what you hope for this way! Enjoying your newsletter so much, Chevanne.
I’m working on the flexibility part and making peace with plans changing. Everything changes and expecting to control so many variables... ugh. It’s self-imposed heartache.
Thanks! Same here.
I did Ulysses on audible books and loved it that way. So many lists and so much alliteration it was fun to hear them all.
I haven't thought of this but I do remember once hearing Colleen Dewhurst read out the whole Molly chapter -- all those yesses -- and loved it. Maybe I will read and listen -- soon.
My while life seems to be a result of a changed mind or circumstances. As a child I wanted to become an actor and I followed that path until I was 28, when I fell in love with and married a sailor and artist and left NYC behind for a year of sailing in Baja...I fell in love with sailing/adventuring and with writing, which led to my job at a publishing house. I've been an editor and writer since 1997, freelance since 2011, we are still living and working on our sailboat and I love my life and work.
So this is a great account of what happens when you choose one "instead" after another. Your life sounds amazing, Jenny.
Happy Birthday Betsy!! It sounds like the change in plans wound up being wonderful and like you said, just what you needed.
Thank you, Gayla!
It will get you ready for your trip next month, right?