What scares you?
Our second "Fourth Saturday" experiment
Before we begin…
What scares you most right now? How are you coping with it? How do you handle fear in general, is it your friend, your unwelcome companion, or more like a substance that vaults you into action or freezes you in place? Has fear ever inspired you creatively?
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From my common book:
“Many years on, I would learn that my mother hated lightning storms. That was my parents’ role to play: to not allow themselves to be overwhelmed by their fear. Later, always, my mother would come to the room I shared with my brother. She’d sit first on his bed, then on mine and tell us things were okay. Then she’d run through all the things we’d do the next day, so many that I often became sleepy as she listed them, which was, I’m sure, the point.” - John Freeman, Keeping the Fear at Bay, Paris Review
Today, the mic is all yours: welcome to “Fourth Saturday”
One of the richest parts of writing Spark is the comments section where you have shared your books, your stories, your perspective on this life we share. A number of you have told me recently that you enjoy reading the comments almost as much as my post itself.
Fueled by this input, I took some time recently to go through all the comments you’ve so generously left here. I thought it would be fun to revisit some of those and expand on the conversations we’ve started or take them in an entirely new direction. Every fourth Saturday, I’ll reprint a few comments – sometimes linked by a theme, other times just because they struck me a certain way – and invite you to weigh in. I’ll also check into my commobook which is full of quotes or lines from things I’ve read and usually reveal a bit more about my state of mind and what was going on in the world than I tend to remember even a few months later. I’d love to know how those lines strike you.
I’ll keep the space largely clear of extra links and articles so the focus can stay where it belongs: on you and your words and whatever conversation rises up.
This is only our second shot at this and we are still in the experimental stage so let me know how it works for you. All you have to do is leave a comment! I’m excited about this and will happily participate in the conversation by responding with whatever is sparked by the stories, insights, accounts shared each week from the treasure trove of our comments section.
Fears
“One of my biggest fears is that I’ll harbor regrets long past the time when I’m young enough (in mind, body, or spirit) to do something about those regrets.”- Michael Estrin
Playing it safe
“We see so many who say they tiptoed around their lives always thinking they had more time, or others, who had plenty of time, end of life nearing 100, but had many regrets of always playing it safe. Not taking risks. Some define this as keeping their lives small. It’s funny but when I meet them and hear about their lives, I’m always awestruck, because everyone’s life is so interesting to me…We like safe. We like the known. It’s comforting. And we always think we have more time.” - Janice Badger Nelson RN
I’m looking forward to joining in this discussion. If you are one of those who read scary books – horror, thrillers, or just a little too much like life – please share!
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Ciao for now!
Gratefully yours,
Betsy
P.S. And now, your moment of Zen…light seeps through the dark
This figure made me brake to a halt late one night about a month ago. The homeowners were obviously impatient for Halloween. But this skeleton was beautiful to me, not scary, but, yes, a little bit sad. Click for video and music!
Calling for Your Contribution to “Moment of Zen”:
What is YOUR moment of Zen? Send me your photos, a video, a drawing, a song, a poem, or anything with a visual that moved you, thrilled you, calmed you. Or just cracked you up. This feature is wide open for your own personal interpretation.
Come on, go through your photos, your memories or just keep your eyes and ears to the ground and then share. Send your photos/links, etc. to me by replying to this email or simply by sending to: elizabethmarro@substack.com. The main guidelines are probably already obvious: don’t hurt anyone -- don’t send anything that violates the privacy of someone you love or even someone you hate, don’t send anything divisive, or aimed at disparaging others. Our Zen moments are to help us connect, to bond, to learn, to wonder, to share -- to escape the world for a little bit and return refreshed.
I can’t wait to see what you send!
And remember, if you like what you see or it resonates with you, please share Spark with a friend and take a minute to click the heart ❤️ below - it helps more folks to find us!
I've read all of these comments and realize how many of the same fears we share. When I first thought of asking this question, my long-held fears popped up immediately: the dark, rats, crossing bridges over water, heights. These are not crippling but they have the power to be. Their power over me increases when I am anxious about other things. I have a powerful and visual imagination that can work against me when confronted with one of these things that scare me. I am not a fan of horror movies or stories.
Then there are the big things: loss, death, aging in America, my late-to-arrive understanding that the world can be horrible, humans are limited creatures, and our tendency for self-destruction has threaded throughout history. And my overall helplessness in the face of it all. Oddly, I think that last part is the thing that helps me most. I spend a lot of time visiting the worst that can happen in my imagination and realize all over again that so much of what will transpire is outside of my control. The only response that makes any sense is to keep moving, gently, and do no harm. Hugging the dogs and those I love helps. So does making contact with people who are kind, surprising, and open-hearted - online, face-to-face, on the phone. Reading, I find, is among the tried and true remedies when I am frightened or feeling useless. I can almost always find something to ground me, distract me, delight me, and restore my love for the world.
I am scared of how quickly you can lose everything. I’m also scared of not appreciating what I have now- not being where my feet are, letting worry, fear, stress, anxiety spoil moments. I’m also scared that I will lose my wonder and feel numb. I’m scared of getting bored.