In college I took a nap on the floor of a dorm room of a girl I was seeing something about it triggered these intense memories of my time in the Navy. The feeling of having traveling back to that time in my life, of being in two places at the same time, I convinced myself that reality was just a dream of wondering what college would be like and at any moment I would wake up back in the fleet. I still think about that day 35+ years later.
This is exactly what I was wondering about. I had a moment like this on this trip. I can understand why it stayed with you -- that feeling when time simply shifts and you are not exactly sure where you really are. There is a bit of magic to it.
I am tearing up thinking about this book. Time travel, getting things right, living things over, and making other choices has been on my mind lately. We cannot know the right choices to make and simply make the best ones at the time. It’s hard to know what the next decade will bring on one road versus another.
I loved A Scanner Darkly by Philip K. Dick. It’s trippy, funny, and heartbreaking. I listened to Paul Giamatti narrate the audiobook which really enriched the experience. It takes place during an investigation of drug distribution and trying to find the source. The main character is an undercover detective who is living two lives which start diverging. There’s even a fascinating and entirely true scientific component.
No, we can't know where our choices will lead us. I sense that this is time of great thought and feeling for you, Chevanne. May you find your way with joy and peace.
The book sounds interesting. I'm interested in the idea of the living two lives at the same time and wondering what happens when they begin to diverge.
I'm over the worst of it. The good news is that it was a print-out and not the only copy. I keep telling myself that if my notes were that good, they will return to me when I can bring myself to return to the document which is now targeted for Monday. We will see then, I suppose.
I think you are right, and that intermediary step (the notes you don't have) may even lead the way to something better. I'll be sending good thoughts on Monday.
I’m proud to be part of your community, Betsy--& horrified to hear your papers have floated free of you. Maybe in a future week, we’ll get to read about them finding their way back to you? That’s my hope.
Thank you, Marilyn. I hope for that too but am not counting on it. I think I will just assume that the most important things will still be apparent to me and perhaps I will spot some new ways to think about that part of the draft. Fingers crosses. I start on it again tomorrow.
I am not a fan of what ifs’, but my dreams tell me that abandoned lives continue to play out in our heads. The attached ‘poem’, if that is what it is, has its origins in a family Christmas conversation back in 2010. What it doesn’t tell you is that Susan got herself introduced to me by a mutual mentor and I saw her again a few hours later at a reception, which is where the poem starts. We were both young; she a museum curator and me a councillor/ museum chair. The 14th July 1975 was a pivotal day in our lives and I realised, for good or bad, there was only one way it would (and will) end. What is true is that we became a couple the next day and bought a house a few weeks later. It is the auto fiction in me waiting to escape. Coming up to 80 I don’t have long, so the Spark post may be the kick in the arse I need. We shall see! Robert 🐰
UNKNOWN CERTAINTY
Blue eyes and rowan hair,
Smell of cloves and apple pie,
To all the world another woman,
To him a perfect vision.
Sees her smile and hears her voice,
To him alone she speaks,
No one notices the claim he stakes,
Nor the step she makes.
They stand and talk, then drift away,
To a place they make their own,
A path, a park, where only trees
Can hear the words they speak,
A brushing hand, a clasp soon sure,
Followed by a pause,
A life that might have been,
Then overwhelmed by bliss.
Lips that part as if to speak,
Instead join two as one,
Confused and taken by surprise,
Clinging hands say more than words.
There is no going back,
The past's undone,
The future beckons,
Unknown certainty awaits,
Robert Howard
28 December 2010.
Inspired by the line 'Love has no end in view save parting'. Unfortunately, I cannot find the poem.
I'm so sorry you lost so many things on this trip! I once lost a notebook with all my poems. This was pre-computer days, so they were lost forever. I have faith the notes you made in the margins are sitting in your brain and will resurface as needed. And maybe a kind soul or souls will return the other items once they track you down. If we had time travel, you could go back and maybe not lose them at all!
I, too, have recently 'discovered' Emma Straub, though I've not begun her books due to my beta reader duties for author friends (we trade).
I relate this wonderful reflection on time and do-overs of life reminded me of the rather dark TV Series that my husband and I have begun: The Lazarus Project. Anyone else watching? I'm unsure what to make of it since it's not up my 'Pollyanna' alley.
Thanks for inclusion in the Spark Author Page - a wonderful service and community builder, Betsy.
I have not watched the Lazarus project but I've wondered what it was about when I've seen the title. Interesting! Also interesting that you are caught up by something that is different from what you usually go for.
You'll enjoy the books by Emma Straub when you get to them, I think.
Welcome home! This is beautiful. I’m so glad you got to see Lupine like you hoped. Living, like you, on a different coast away from family, this really resonates with me. While you were on the east coast visiting your family, my family was on the west coast visiting me. It was such a lovely visit but was a bit choked up saying goodbye to my dad and seeing him the same. I don’t regret my life here. I know I wouldn’t be the person without the moves and jobs that brought me right here, but I sure wish I could time travel sometimes. Thanks as always for the book rec.
I have to admit, it's awfully hard sometimes to be so far away. As you say, though, if I hadn't made the moves I've made, I would not have the life I have which I love. The heart gets stretched but that is what it is made for, I suppose. Thank you, Mary.
I am really enjoying watching the Spark community grow--it's a bright spot in my world right now. Thank you, everyone!
In college I took a nap on the floor of a dorm room of a girl I was seeing something about it triggered these intense memories of my time in the Navy. The feeling of having traveling back to that time in my life, of being in two places at the same time, I convinced myself that reality was just a dream of wondering what college would be like and at any moment I would wake up back in the fleet. I still think about that day 35+ years later.
This is exactly what I was wondering about. I had a moment like this on this trip. I can understand why it stayed with you -- that feeling when time simply shifts and you are not exactly sure where you really are. There is a bit of magic to it.
I am tearing up thinking about this book. Time travel, getting things right, living things over, and making other choices has been on my mind lately. We cannot know the right choices to make and simply make the best ones at the time. It’s hard to know what the next decade will bring on one road versus another.
I loved A Scanner Darkly by Philip K. Dick. It’s trippy, funny, and heartbreaking. I listened to Paul Giamatti narrate the audiobook which really enriched the experience. It takes place during an investigation of drug distribution and trying to find the source. The main character is an undercover detective who is living two lives which start diverging. There’s even a fascinating and entirely true scientific component.
No, we can't know where our choices will lead us. I sense that this is time of great thought and feeling for you, Chevanne. May you find your way with joy and peace.
The book sounds interesting. I'm interested in the idea of the living two lives at the same time and wondering what happens when they begin to diverge.
Your sense is right. I’m moving through these emotions and trying to let some things go. 😊
This is the thing I live in fear of losing: "a printout of a big piece of my novel with margin notes." How are you handling this?
I'm over the worst of it. The good news is that it was a print-out and not the only copy. I keep telling myself that if my notes were that good, they will return to me when I can bring myself to return to the document which is now targeted for Monday. We will see then, I suppose.
I think you are right, and that intermediary step (the notes you don't have) may even lead the way to something better. I'll be sending good thoughts on Monday.
Thank you for this great recommendation - I'm obsessed with stories of gadget-less time travel, and this book seems perfection. 🌷
I’m proud to be part of your community, Betsy--& horrified to hear your papers have floated free of you. Maybe in a future week, we’ll get to read about them finding their way back to you? That’s my hope.
Thank you, Marilyn. I hope for that too but am not counting on it. I think I will just assume that the most important things will still be apparent to me and perhaps I will spot some new ways to think about that part of the draft. Fingers crosses. I start on it again tomorrow.
I am not a fan of what ifs’, but my dreams tell me that abandoned lives continue to play out in our heads. The attached ‘poem’, if that is what it is, has its origins in a family Christmas conversation back in 2010. What it doesn’t tell you is that Susan got herself introduced to me by a mutual mentor and I saw her again a few hours later at a reception, which is where the poem starts. We were both young; she a museum curator and me a councillor/ museum chair. The 14th July 1975 was a pivotal day in our lives and I realised, for good or bad, there was only one way it would (and will) end. What is true is that we became a couple the next day and bought a house a few weeks later. It is the auto fiction in me waiting to escape. Coming up to 80 I don’t have long, so the Spark post may be the kick in the arse I need. We shall see! Robert 🐰
UNKNOWN CERTAINTY
Blue eyes and rowan hair,
Smell of cloves and apple pie,
To all the world another woman,
To him a perfect vision.
Sees her smile and hears her voice,
To him alone she speaks,
No one notices the claim he stakes,
Nor the step she makes.
They stand and talk, then drift away,
To a place they make their own,
A path, a park, where only trees
Can hear the words they speak,
A brushing hand, a clasp soon sure,
Followed by a pause,
A life that might have been,
Then overwhelmed by bliss.
Lips that part as if to speak,
Instead join two as one,
Confused and taken by surprise,
Clinging hands say more than words.
There is no going back,
The past's undone,
The future beckons,
Unknown certainty awaits,
Robert Howard
28 December 2010.
Inspired by the line 'Love has no end in view save parting'. Unfortunately, I cannot find the poem.
Beautiful, Robert. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your poem.
I'm so sorry you lost so many things on this trip! I once lost a notebook with all my poems. This was pre-computer days, so they were lost forever. I have faith the notes you made in the margins are sitting in your brain and will resurface as needed. And maybe a kind soul or souls will return the other items once they track you down. If we had time travel, you could go back and maybe not lose them at all!
I, too, have recently 'discovered' Emma Straub, though I've not begun her books due to my beta reader duties for author friends (we trade).
I relate this wonderful reflection on time and do-overs of life reminded me of the rather dark TV Series that my husband and I have begun: The Lazarus Project. Anyone else watching? I'm unsure what to make of it since it's not up my 'Pollyanna' alley.
Thanks for inclusion in the Spark Author Page - a wonderful service and community builder, Betsy.
I have not watched the Lazarus project but I've wondered what it was about when I've seen the title. Interesting! Also interesting that you are caught up by something that is different from what you usually go for.
You'll enjoy the books by Emma Straub when you get to them, I think.
Welcome home! This is beautiful. I’m so glad you got to see Lupine like you hoped. Living, like you, on a different coast away from family, this really resonates with me. While you were on the east coast visiting your family, my family was on the west coast visiting me. It was such a lovely visit but was a bit choked up saying goodbye to my dad and seeing him the same. I don’t regret my life here. I know I wouldn’t be the person without the moves and jobs that brought me right here, but I sure wish I could time travel sometimes. Thanks as always for the book rec.
I have to admit, it's awfully hard sometimes to be so far away. As you say, though, if I hadn't made the moves I've made, I would not have the life I have which I love. The heart gets stretched but that is what it is made for, I suppose. Thank you, Mary.