The circle is not broken
But it has changed
Before we begin…
I need to tell you that I am without words. My brother died suddenly this week. It is far too early for me to tell you about him and what he meant to me, to all of us. The obituary we wrote barely scrapes the surface of who he was and why he is so special.
Normally, here is where I welcome new subscribers and guide you to all the info on how to make sure to click through for the whole post and how to share and subscribe. I shoved all that to the bottom of this post. Instead, I am going to share two older posts that are not about my brother specifically but about the world of siblings that I grew up in. I have been a member of a circle, a circle of strange, funny, complicated, beautiful people. We love each other and have been happily surprised to find that the bonds have only strengthened as we have aged.
I choose to believe that with love like that, our circle cannot be broken. We have had practice at keeping together even while separated by thousands of miles. One of us is just a little further away than he was before. The love remains. The memories do too.
I welcome your thoughts and stories. If you have thoughts on siblings, love, or anything that strikes you here or on either of the two posts I’ve shared, please, go ahead and share them. I will read all of them and respond.
Spark will go dark next week and, possibly, the week after as I travel east. I look forward to resuming our conversations when things have settled. I’ll be checking in via the comments and will stay connected as much as I can. Peace to each of you. And love. Always love. May you find it, receive it, share it, wallow in it, dance with it, cry with it, celebrate it – even when it hurts.
Brothers, sisters, and dancing in the kitchen
“Ours is the only club I’d ever wanted to be a member of, so I couldn’t imagine quitting.” David Sedaris from “Now We Are Five” or listen to it here on This American Life I almost danced in the kitchen yesterday morning. Quarantine conditions pretty much guarantee that a person can be sure she’ll be able to lip-sync to
Can a member of a pack ever understand an only child?
Before we begin… When you encounter someone who is an only child what thoughts, if any, cross your mind? Are you in the presence of a kindred spirit or an alien being? If you are an only child, what do you encounter from people who grew up with siblings? If you grew up with siblings, what do you love about it, hate about it?
My brother
The stuff that is usually up front
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Ciao for now!
Gratefully yours,
Betsy
P.S. And now, your moment of Zen…Mavis
Calling for Your Contribution to “Moment of Zen”:
What is YOUR moment of Zen? Send me your photos, a video, a drawing, a song, a poem, or anything with a visual that moved you, thrilled you, calmed you. Or just cracked you up. This feature is wide open for your own personal interpretation.
Come on, go through your photos, your memories or just keep your eyes and ears to the ground and then share. Send your photos/links, etc. to me by replying to this email or simply by sending to: elizabethmarro@substack.com. The main guidelines are probably already obvious: don’t hurt anyone -- don’t send anything that violates the privacy of someone you love or even someone you hate, don’t send anything divisive, or aimed at disparaging others. Our Zen moments are to help us connect, to bond, to learn, to wonder, to share -- to escape the world for a little bit and return refreshed.
I can’t wait to see what you send!
And remember, if you like what you see or it resonates with you, please share Spark with a friend and take a minute to click the heart ❤️ below - it helps more folks to find us!
After birth we have one guarantee: death. And still it is painful and often times shocking when, within our circle, someone departs physically, leaving behind memories held together by heartfelt emotions and feelings of love. Even though you have had 60+ years living alongside your brother, it's never enough. Your heart is in pain, so I wish you healing; you will always have joy in your heart thinking about him.
So sorry for your loss, Betsy. Take all the time you need to be with your family. We’ll be here when you get back.