21 Comments

I am an introvert. And, I have done stand-up, acted, sang solo, thrown and have attended parties. Those things wear me out. Covid made me even more reluctant to go out. When I do leave the house, I wear a mask.

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I just read my first post from Jess Pan and immediately subscribed, of course. What a voice, what a world, what a uniquely witty outlook. Perfection. Now I'm off to see about the book you recommended.

As to my vert, its extro, but I do love/need time alone. Luckily, I wake at 4 or 5 and my husband wakes at 7 or so, so I have guaranteed early morning alone time. That's key for me, living on a small boat. Long solo walks with my dog are also my jam, keeping me centered.

Everyone always assumes I'm the talker in our marriage since Russel has a quiet public persona and is often described as chill and laid back, words no one has ever applies to me, the people person. But when we're alone, he narrates life to a crazy degree that I luckily find funny (usually). On my own, I'm quiet and pretty contemplative, when I'm not being a goofball and singing to my dog.

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Oh, thank you so much for this considered and wonderful review!!! Means the world. I’m glad you felt it found you at the right moment. ♥️♥️♥️

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Great title for a book Jess. Thanks for highlighting Jess’ work Betsy. I don’t think people would describe me as an introvert. I teach and lead and bring people together. I talk to strangers and I like attention. However, I refuel by being alone, often by reading. And spending time alone in my garden or hiking or at the lake is one of my favorite fun things to do. I try to find balance but also try and take care of myself by paying close attention to my introvert refueling needs. I become pretty cranky if those needs aren’t met.

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I think I'm an extroverted introvert -- as much as I love being around people, I've been noticing more and more the need to rest and re-fuel. The more I do that, the more I feel comfortable trying new things and saying what I mean. It's miraculous! It's a balance that I don't think I understood as a younger person. Pan's book sounds just great! I'm going to look for it!

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I love what you said about being more ready to try new things and, most importantly, say what you mean. I think I say many things too quickly when I'm feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated.

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Oh, yes, the things that pop out of my mouth when I'm flooded. Yikes. :)

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I am an extrovert!! I love going out and doing things on impulse is just another Tuesday LOL

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I like to say I'm an extrovert--for a writer. Compared to my wife, who will talk to anyone and leave a lasting impression, I am definitely an introvert.

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You've hit on something. Most writers I know are clustered close to the introvert end of the spectrum but within that group there is a significant range of types. Nuvia is pretty special,that's for sure.

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introvert who loves people, but find them draining, unless in small groups, and I need time alone to recharge.

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Isn't it amazing that even people we love can make us feel drained?

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In May, 1974, when I was an overweight, non-athletic couch potato living on cheeseburgers and whiskey, I came across George Plimpton's 1966 book "Paper Lion," in which the gangly intellectual recounted his month training with football's Detroit Lions. Something clicked. I had to change. I took a deep breath, approached the Boston Celtics, then pitched the idea to Boston Magazine--I had been invited to train with the team for five days the following September. Not that I was any good at basketball. But at least I had a few months to get into shape. I started running. At the start I could barely make it twice around a 1/4 mile high school track. But by September I was on the roads, running six miles daily. And for five fantastic days, I kept up with Tommy Heinsohn's Celtics, featuring Dave Cowens, John Havlicek, Paul Silas...Those few days, and the writing of the piece ("Running With The Celtics," Boston Magazine, November, 1974) changed my life--but no more so than did my pre-Celtics running. I've been at it ever since.

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I now remember this account. You may have shared it before sending my journalism class out to do our first-person features which is how/why I ended up with a tattoo .

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Hi Betsy. Love this piece. And loved your op-ed in the San Diego Tribune. Sooooo great! and so glad you posted it here!...Didn't know of Jess Pan until now. Sounds wonderful... I'll check out her work...Would consider myself an extrovert/introvert. I am definitely outgoing, social and a performer (of course)!... but also very much in touch with my introvert self as well. I vacillate all the time between both selves/needs. And savor my alone time. And/or alone time with our dog!...p.s. That David Brooks essay is beautifully surprising and deep!

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Thank, Bernadette. I think it is crazy tor those of us who are not performers to think they those of us who do perform are extroverted when in fact we are all on spectrum. An actor would have to recharge regularly I would think.

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I'm in the Jess Pan fan club too - I just laughed through, and shared her most recent Substack with my best friends, claiming, that "she and her friends are as funny as us" - which, admittedly, was a boastful way to recommend a newsletter, but it highlights the fact that Jess makes a reader feel as if she's in her friend group. And how I want to be in that bookstore! Ordering the book now.

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I feel that same friend vibe despite the geographical and generational distance. That's a testament to a strong writing voice. And yes, funny. Funny friends are the best.

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I too loved Jessica Pan’s book and am also falling in love with her Substack. Another newsletter I recommend in this vein is the Receipt from the Bookshop series at the Terrible at Titles Substack by Katie Clapham :-)

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Thanks for the recommendation, Katy! I'm going to check out Katie's work.

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Sounds about right. Blame (or credit) George Plimpton. He started it...

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