For anyone seeking a soothing, boring voice to fall back to sleep with, this comes recommended by at least one person I know: https://www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/
I lived a life of perpetual jet lag and spent more nights than not staring at a 3:00 am ceiling. At one point, I asked a doc friend what happens if I go for weeks on end without enough sleep? “You’ll eventually fall asleep.” Quite a technical answer.
At one point I decided enough was enough, so I tried Ambien. After a while, I decided the cure was worse than the problem when my wife told me about my nighttime perambulations around the house and the bizarre conversations I could not recall the next day. Then I decided to listen to audiobooks read by especially soothing performers and within minutes, I fell into blissful sleep. For years now, it’s worked for me. There is something about a soothing human voice that stills a troubled mind.
You are right about that. My sister, for example, listens to this podcast, called “Sleep with me” — the “Podcast that puts you to sleep.” https://www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/
“what time is it now oh god i forgot to send that email now they will be mad i don’t care it’s already thursday and i have no idea what I’m going to write about in the newsletter this week the stuff i wrote in the novel yesterday and thought was so good is not in fact it sucks i suck why does my neck hurt so much i should never have watched CNN last night how can they just talk and talk and talk don’t they know how upsetting they are …” 😂 well done
I hope you find better rest soon. I have struggled with waking at 3 am before and it is the worst, truly. For me, it is triggered by transition and excitement. I appreciate your posts very much.
Oh how I love - and relate to! - that first paragraph. The endless chatter of a restless mind, I've written about it before and tried every way I can find to quiet it down. May you find the peace that came with that lovely quarry story. Thanks so much for the mention! 😊
That quarry memory sustains me. Thank YOU for the links and reminders about the relationship of pain to brain. My dad gave me the back book a long time ago but I did not look at it after I healed.
I don't have trouble staying asleep. What you experience at 3 AM sometimes keeps me from falling asleep! I try counting 1, 2 over and over and that sometimes calms those racing thoughts. Otherwise, if I get up and go to the couch, I usually fall asleep within minutes. I'll usually wake up at some point after that and I'll go to bed and sleep just fine. It is super frustrating to have the racing thoughts!
Bedtime is 9:30, sometimes earlier to read. I try to go to sleep around 10, but I wake up at 3am too. Almost every night, like clockwork. My mind is thinking about stuff either from the past or a ticker tape of to do’s. I get up and get a drink of water, turn on my heated throw and climb back in bed. My husband is sleeping soundly of course oblivious to my mind, which I think is loud, but silence surrounds us. The dogs are now rearranging. Once we are all snuggled back in, I try telling my brain that it will all be there in the morning, about 4 hrs from now. And eventually I do fall back asleep waking right at 7 am. I still feel as though I have had a full nights sleep. But that’s my rhythm and I just have come to accept its flow.
I loved your description of the quarry swim. How the women beckoned you at just the right moment. And how you took it all back with you to California. So lovely. I’m sure you return to the calmness of that often in your mind. It’s so soothing.
I DO return to that memory - even in the light of day. It helps me so much to know that it happened. It's funny, isn't it, how loud our internal noise seems and yet every being around us slumbers on. My husband has suffered from much more debilitating insomnia for years and now that it visits me more often we both try to lie still and let the other rest as much as possible. What a dance!
Oh and I just finished reading Elizabeth Strout’s new book Tell Me Everything. It’s really good. As all of her books are. I am enamored with Lucy Barton, probably because she’s a woman of my own age. I can so relate to her.
I also recently read Stone Maidens for my book group. It’s about a serial killer but I loved it.
I am now reading Mother Daughter Murder Night. So far, so good.
We were just recently in Del Mar for a few days and I just love it there. I love sitting and watching the surfers. But they really need a bookstore there. That would make it the perfect trip. I did pick up a book at a little boutique entitled When Things Fall Apart because I liked the cover and the first two pages that I read, plus the storekeeper was so friendly and we chatted and it was just lovely.
I want to read Tell Me Everything very soon. Just finished an older one I had not read, Olive Again. Amazingly, I liked it even more than Olive Kitteridge. I guess the nearest bookstore to Del Mar is Warwicks and that isn't all that far. Next time you come, pop down to La Jolla and browse. If you can find a parking space!
The darkness is almost palpable, a heavy blanket that wraps around me. My mind is racing, a never-ending marathon of thoughts, worries, and ideas. It's as if my brain has declared independence from my body, refusing to let me rest.
What's keeping me up? The usual suspects: unresolved concerns, unmet deadlines, and the lingering echoes of conversations that left me wondering. My brain is a juggler, expertly keeping multiple balls in the air, each one representing a nagging question or unexplored possibility.
Sleep seems like a distant memory, a fleeting acquaintance I've lost touch with. The more I try to coax it back, the more elusive it becomes. My body feels restless, a vessel protesting the constant mental turmoil. The sheets are tangled, a testament to my tossing and turning.
Communication between my body and brain? It's strained, to say the least. My brain is the overbearing boss, constantly demanding attention, while my body pleads for respite. The negotiations are tense, with neither side willing to compromise.
And yet... in this wakeful state, there's a twisted sense of freedom. The world outside is hushed, and it's just me, my thoughts, and the darkness. In this solitude, I find a strange, quiet comfort. The stillness allows me to explore the depths of my mind, to untangle the knots that bind me.
Perhaps I don't want to sleep just yet. Maybe I'll find answers in this nocturnal reverie, or stumble upon a hidden insight that eludes me in the daylight. The night, with all its mysteries, has become my unlikely confidant?
I loved this whole comment, Tom, but really loved that last thought. Yes, there are times when being awake when the world is (supposedly) asleep feels private and expansive in a way that the day does not. I remember when my son was an infant. Those moments when it was just the two of us awake in the night were unlike any other time. Even if they left me exhausted. "Unlikely confidant" is something I'll remember.
I think every woman I know, including myself of course, regularly wakes up at 3:00 a.m. with exactly that ticker tape of thoughts running through their mind. I’ve done it for years and years.
Recently, unencumbered by work stress, caring for children, or aging parents, I’ve had a better rate of sleeping thorough the night. But right now, I’m so terrified about this election that I wake up plotting my escape route. (No, I don’t have a good one yet.)
Reading helps. Cinnamon toast helps. A heating pad helps. But nothing is fool proof, and usually I lie there until 6:30 when it seems reasonable to get up and put the coffee on.
Because so many of us have this trouble, I’ve thought about creating a community called something like “Hey, You Up?” So we could hop online and talk each other down. 😂
Yes! Thanks for the smile. It would be great to help each other come off the ledge. I have, perhaps mistakenly, believed that if I turn on a light or a screen then it will all be over. I might as well give up. I just crave the absence of stimulation but maybe certain kinds might help -like a friendly voice or two reaching across the void.
Sending love Elizabeth. Insomnia is just the worst kind of torture. I've been there. It does usually pass though, eventually. Thanks for sharing such a raw, honest and relatable piece ❤️
I know, you are right, it does pass. It has before and will again. But it helped to write it out this week -- honestly it was all I was capable of. Thanks for responding so kindly, Vicki.
I've been sleeping better since I started using my white noise machine. That is, I go back to sleep when I wake in the middle of the night instead of lying there trying all the tricks to get my mind to stop. The white noise might be a fluke, but for now I'm beyond grateful for it. Re books, I'm reading Burning Questions by Margaret Atwood, The Red Notebook by Antoine Laurain, and I just finished All Fours by Miranda July. You've reminded me that in the past, I've read Proust when I want to slow down my mind. I need to read it again, every night until November 6th at least.
I've heard that white noise machines can help. I should try it. My sister knows of a podcast that she listens to called, "Sleep with me," -- a very nice man with a very kind voice talks about stuff that puts her back into the zone. I have never checked it out because she has to listen through earphones in the night and I can't stand the idea of that.
In other news, what did you think of the Miranda July book? I've loved her past work.
I've read that white noise while you're writing can help with the creative process. I. haven't tried that yet. Re All Fours, there's a LOT of sex, all sorts. I enjoyed it because there's so much more, but it's not for everyone.
I've been struggling with sleeplessness for at least ten years. Part of my solution was to go to sleep earlier. I'm not kidding. If I can get to sleep by 9 or 10 (easy for sailors who get up at dawn), I don't mind waking at 3 or 4. I read, think, meditate. Sometimes, like last night, after sleeping from 10 to 2, I read for an hour (only nonfiction and relatively boring stuff) I fall back to sleep for an hour or two. Also I take a mild antihistamine and sleep herbs every night before bed.
I am so excited that you're loving Bleak House! It is one of my favorite books of that era. So witty.
You're right. I've moved bedtime to 10 pm latest most nights and sometimes earlier just to relax more. I have, on occasion, gotten up and gone into another room to read or work (I can't read in bed without waking my mate) but that would wake the dogs and then it's a whole thing. I take melatonin and occasionally drink some sleepy herb tea. Antihistamines, even mild ones, wreck me.
I'm looking forward to talking about Bleak House with you!
I switched to reading on my Kindle app in dark mode, meaning white text on a black background years ago. I turn on twilight so the while lettering is dim red and Russel doesn't even notice the faint warm light. I couldn't do without it as I am often awake for hours during my ten hours in bed. Those who say go to another room to read have not lived on a boat!
Yes, this has been my answer too. In bed before 9, usually asleep by 9:30. Also to help my mind change the channel I keep AirPods by my bed and if I am stressed about being awake I will turn on a podcast. Many times that will help me go back to sleep and if not at least I have low energy entertainment.
i got nothing! (no good answers to your questions)! but i just wanted to say I so relate to your glorious words about taking that unexpected swim....one of the best feelings in the world!
Really appreciated all of this (and especially the recs, which I am happy to dig into). I think MANY of us are having sleepless nights as election day draws closer. I'm considering a possible media, if not blackout because that's probably not realistic, umm a media shading of some sort to let in less of it.
Filtering will definitely help. I feel sometimes the way I felt when I watched movies like Silence of the Lambs with friends -- I would close my eyes during the scariest, goriest parts and tell them to let me know when they were over.
In other news, check your DMs on IG and here. I left a note for you regarding a book fair you might like to participate in near your neck of the woods.
For anyone seeking a soothing, boring voice to fall back to sleep with, this comes recommended by at least one person I know: https://www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/
I lived a life of perpetual jet lag and spent more nights than not staring at a 3:00 am ceiling. At one point, I asked a doc friend what happens if I go for weeks on end without enough sleep? “You’ll eventually fall asleep.” Quite a technical answer.
At one point I decided enough was enough, so I tried Ambien. After a while, I decided the cure was worse than the problem when my wife told me about my nighttime perambulations around the house and the bizarre conversations I could not recall the next day. Then I decided to listen to audiobooks read by especially soothing performers and within minutes, I fell into blissful sleep. For years now, it’s worked for me. There is something about a soothing human voice that stills a troubled mind.
You are right about that. My sister, for example, listens to this podcast, called “Sleep with me” — the “Podcast that puts you to sleep.” https://www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/
“what time is it now oh god i forgot to send that email now they will be mad i don’t care it’s already thursday and i have no idea what I’m going to write about in the newsletter this week the stuff i wrote in the novel yesterday and thought was so good is not in fact it sucks i suck why does my neck hurt so much i should never have watched CNN last night how can they just talk and talk and talk don’t they know how upsetting they are …” 😂 well done
I hope you find better rest soon. I have struggled with waking at 3 am before and it is the worst, truly. For me, it is triggered by transition and excitement. I appreciate your posts very much.
Oh how I love - and relate to! - that first paragraph. The endless chatter of a restless mind, I've written about it before and tried every way I can find to quiet it down. May you find the peace that came with that lovely quarry story. Thanks so much for the mention! 😊
That quarry memory sustains me. Thank YOU for the links and reminders about the relationship of pain to brain. My dad gave me the back book a long time ago but I did not look at it after I healed.
I don't have trouble staying asleep. What you experience at 3 AM sometimes keeps me from falling asleep! I try counting 1, 2 over and over and that sometimes calms those racing thoughts. Otherwise, if I get up and go to the couch, I usually fall asleep within minutes. I'll usually wake up at some point after that and I'll go to bed and sleep just fine. It is super frustrating to have the racing thoughts!
Bedtime is 9:30, sometimes earlier to read. I try to go to sleep around 10, but I wake up at 3am too. Almost every night, like clockwork. My mind is thinking about stuff either from the past or a ticker tape of to do’s. I get up and get a drink of water, turn on my heated throw and climb back in bed. My husband is sleeping soundly of course oblivious to my mind, which I think is loud, but silence surrounds us. The dogs are now rearranging. Once we are all snuggled back in, I try telling my brain that it will all be there in the morning, about 4 hrs from now. And eventually I do fall back asleep waking right at 7 am. I still feel as though I have had a full nights sleep. But that’s my rhythm and I just have come to accept its flow.
I loved your description of the quarry swim. How the women beckoned you at just the right moment. And how you took it all back with you to California. So lovely. I’m sure you return to the calmness of that often in your mind. It’s so soothing.
I DO return to that memory - even in the light of day. It helps me so much to know that it happened. It's funny, isn't it, how loud our internal noise seems and yet every being around us slumbers on. My husband has suffered from much more debilitating insomnia for years and now that it visits me more often we both try to lie still and let the other rest as much as possible. What a dance!
Oh and I just finished reading Elizabeth Strout’s new book Tell Me Everything. It’s really good. As all of her books are. I am enamored with Lucy Barton, probably because she’s a woman of my own age. I can so relate to her.
I also recently read Stone Maidens for my book group. It’s about a serial killer but I loved it.
I am now reading Mother Daughter Murder Night. So far, so good.
We were just recently in Del Mar for a few days and I just love it there. I love sitting and watching the surfers. But they really need a bookstore there. That would make it the perfect trip. I did pick up a book at a little boutique entitled When Things Fall Apart because I liked the cover and the first two pages that I read, plus the storekeeper was so friendly and we chatted and it was just lovely.
I want to read Tell Me Everything very soon. Just finished an older one I had not read, Olive Again. Amazingly, I liked it even more than Olive Kitteridge. I guess the nearest bookstore to Del Mar is Warwicks and that isn't all that far. Next time you come, pop down to La Jolla and browse. If you can find a parking space!
Aw, thank you, Betsy! I'm glad you liked it.
I am reading the 20 Patrick O'Brian Aubrey/Maturin novels for the second time.
https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=patrick%20o%27brian%20appreciation%20society
Those never get old! I love that series so much.
I'm reading most of them for the second time, on my desktop screen, thanks to kindle.
The darkness is almost palpable, a heavy blanket that wraps around me. My mind is racing, a never-ending marathon of thoughts, worries, and ideas. It's as if my brain has declared independence from my body, refusing to let me rest.
What's keeping me up? The usual suspects: unresolved concerns, unmet deadlines, and the lingering echoes of conversations that left me wondering. My brain is a juggler, expertly keeping multiple balls in the air, each one representing a nagging question or unexplored possibility.
Sleep seems like a distant memory, a fleeting acquaintance I've lost touch with. The more I try to coax it back, the more elusive it becomes. My body feels restless, a vessel protesting the constant mental turmoil. The sheets are tangled, a testament to my tossing and turning.
Communication between my body and brain? It's strained, to say the least. My brain is the overbearing boss, constantly demanding attention, while my body pleads for respite. The negotiations are tense, with neither side willing to compromise.
And yet... in this wakeful state, there's a twisted sense of freedom. The world outside is hushed, and it's just me, my thoughts, and the darkness. In this solitude, I find a strange, quiet comfort. The stillness allows me to explore the depths of my mind, to untangle the knots that bind me.
Perhaps I don't want to sleep just yet. Maybe I'll find answers in this nocturnal reverie, or stumble upon a hidden insight that eludes me in the daylight. The night, with all its mysteries, has become my unlikely confidant?
I loved this whole comment, Tom, but really loved that last thought. Yes, there are times when being awake when the world is (supposedly) asleep feels private and expansive in a way that the day does not. I remember when my son was an infant. Those moments when it was just the two of us awake in the night were unlike any other time. Even if they left me exhausted. "Unlikely confidant" is something I'll remember.
I think every woman I know, including myself of course, regularly wakes up at 3:00 a.m. with exactly that ticker tape of thoughts running through their mind. I’ve done it for years and years.
Recently, unencumbered by work stress, caring for children, or aging parents, I’ve had a better rate of sleeping thorough the night. But right now, I’m so terrified about this election that I wake up plotting my escape route. (No, I don’t have a good one yet.)
Reading helps. Cinnamon toast helps. A heating pad helps. But nothing is fool proof, and usually I lie there until 6:30 when it seems reasonable to get up and put the coffee on.
Because so many of us have this trouble, I’ve thought about creating a community called something like “Hey, You Up?” So we could hop online and talk each other down. 😂
Yes! Thanks for the smile. It would be great to help each other come off the ledge. I have, perhaps mistakenly, believed that if I turn on a light or a screen then it will all be over. I might as well give up. I just crave the absence of stimulation but maybe certain kinds might help -like a friendly voice or two reaching across the void.
Sending love Elizabeth. Insomnia is just the worst kind of torture. I've been there. It does usually pass though, eventually. Thanks for sharing such a raw, honest and relatable piece ❤️
I know, you are right, it does pass. It has before and will again. But it helped to write it out this week -- honestly it was all I was capable of. Thanks for responding so kindly, Vicki.
I've been sleeping better since I started using my white noise machine. That is, I go back to sleep when I wake in the middle of the night instead of lying there trying all the tricks to get my mind to stop. The white noise might be a fluke, but for now I'm beyond grateful for it. Re books, I'm reading Burning Questions by Margaret Atwood, The Red Notebook by Antoine Laurain, and I just finished All Fours by Miranda July. You've reminded me that in the past, I've read Proust when I want to slow down my mind. I need to read it again, every night until November 6th at least.
I've heard that white noise machines can help. I should try it. My sister knows of a podcast that she listens to called, "Sleep with me," -- a very nice man with a very kind voice talks about stuff that puts her back into the zone. I have never checked it out because she has to listen through earphones in the night and I can't stand the idea of that.
In other news, what did you think of the Miranda July book? I've loved her past work.
Here is that podcast I mentioned: https://www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/
I've read that white noise while you're writing can help with the creative process. I. haven't tried that yet. Re All Fours, there's a LOT of sex, all sorts. I enjoyed it because there's so much more, but it's not for everyone.
I tried brown noise when I was working before and it did help, actually. I'm not sure about sleep but perhaps it is time to explore the options.
Sometimes I wake up at 2 AM and my brain tells me that was a great nap.
That's an approach I hadn't considered: celebrating the sleep I got before three a.m. I do love a great nap when I can get one.
I've been struggling with sleeplessness for at least ten years. Part of my solution was to go to sleep earlier. I'm not kidding. If I can get to sleep by 9 or 10 (easy for sailors who get up at dawn), I don't mind waking at 3 or 4. I read, think, meditate. Sometimes, like last night, after sleeping from 10 to 2, I read for an hour (only nonfiction and relatively boring stuff) I fall back to sleep for an hour or two. Also I take a mild antihistamine and sleep herbs every night before bed.
I am so excited that you're loving Bleak House! It is one of my favorite books of that era. So witty.
You're right. I've moved bedtime to 10 pm latest most nights and sometimes earlier just to relax more. I have, on occasion, gotten up and gone into another room to read or work (I can't read in bed without waking my mate) but that would wake the dogs and then it's a whole thing. I take melatonin and occasionally drink some sleepy herb tea. Antihistamines, even mild ones, wreck me.
I'm looking forward to talking about Bleak House with you!
I switched to reading on my Kindle app in dark mode, meaning white text on a black background years ago. I turn on twilight so the while lettering is dim red and Russel doesn't even notice the faint warm light. I couldn't do without it as I am often awake for hours during my ten hours in bed. Those who say go to another room to read have not lived on a boat!
Yes, this has been my answer too. In bed before 9, usually asleep by 9:30. Also to help my mind change the channel I keep AirPods by my bed and if I am stressed about being awake I will turn on a podcast. Many times that will help me go back to sleep and if not at least I have low energy entertainment.
i got nothing! (no good answers to your questions)! but i just wanted to say I so relate to your glorious words about taking that unexpected swim....one of the best feelings in the world!
It truly was and is the best feeling in the world. I'm so grateful for that moment.
Really appreciated all of this (and especially the recs, which I am happy to dig into). I think MANY of us are having sleepless nights as election day draws closer. I'm considering a possible media, if not blackout because that's probably not realistic, umm a media shading of some sort to let in less of it.
Filtering will definitely help. I feel sometimes the way I felt when I watched movies like Silence of the Lambs with friends -- I would close my eyes during the scariest, goriest parts and tell them to let me know when they were over.
In other news, check your DMs on IG and here. I left a note for you regarding a book fair you might like to participate in near your neck of the woods.