25 Comments

November has always been a hard month for me since my father died on November 18, 1951. I was seven. Five years later, almost to the day, I was raped and lost my virginity at age 12. For many years, I dreaded November as though bad things would happen again. Thanksgiving was off the table after my dad died, and when I was grown I started fasting on Thanksgiving, which my daughter does to this day. Then I discovered NaNoWriMo, and I use November as a month to focus on a novel project. I now practice a Daily Gratitude Journal which helps me every single day; I don't wait for one day a year to be grateful (which I always thought was the best part of Thanksgiving). I find the excess eating, the killing of turkeys, the focus on football not something I enjoy. But I do love it when families can get together, share a meal, strengthen their bonds, and express their gratitude.

Expand full comment

686,000 words?! Wow, Betsy!!!!

Expand full comment

Well, that's every bit of writing, research, notes, crap and stuff that I need in one place. It all played a role in getting me there. I guess I'm one of those who have to write my way there. The draft of the novel itself? I think it's between 150,000 and 225,000 words. Again, most of them will go or be exchanged for better ones.

Expand full comment

I can never get enough of Jhumpa Lahiri's insightful stories. PS: Do you ever sleep?

Expand full comment

Oh yes. Apparently I slept so hard last night that I kept my partner abd dogs awake with my snoring.

Expand full comment

A enjoyable post Betsy, which has prompted me to do a post on paperbagstories.substack.com in a few days about books I have recently re-read and three (very different) books I have bought during November already, the last of which I ordered an hour ago and await delivery ( so that will influence the timing of my post). It is a book you mentioned in passing - ‘All of us: Stories and Poems Along Route 17.’ It will be coming from America, but it caught my attention. I hope Thanksgiving and your son’s visit go well. 🐰

Expand full comment

How great! I'll be interested in your take on "All of us" -- it was new to me. I'll go read your post right now.

Expand full comment

It’s not there yet, me writing about ‘All of Us’ that is, because I only ordered it yesterday, thanks to your passing mention of course. My last post was ‘A Garden Vignette’ about and old fox, an old badger and an old man.🐰

Expand full comment

Congratulations on finishing the draft of your newest novel! I am so happy for you. Your tenacity is inspiring!

Expand full comment

Thank you, Cindy! How's New England treating you?

Expand full comment

I am absolutely in love with New England! It’s so beautiful, even now in stick season. We’ve got a light dusting of snow now. I’ve been learning to make quilts and taking walks in the woods. Life is good.

Expand full comment

A 50-state, 50-bookstore dream sounds like a dream vacation.

I hear you about the sometimes gloomy feel of November, but I am SO excited that you will get to see your son. Enjoy every second.

Thank you so much for mentioning my book. The whales are everywhere!

Expand full comment

Your book has some of the most beautiful, complete writing. I feel as though I'm in Maine, seeing a part of it that disappeared a long time ago.

Expand full comment

November is rough. The dark afternoons, the impending holiday madness. I'm glad for your voice in my inbox and delighted to know you are writing (So many words!!! YAY!) and always happy for reading recs. Have a wonderful time with your kiddo! (No matter how old they get, they are always kiddos -- my own will be here and I so relish their company and their ability to bend time just by existing -- they are toddlers/teens/and twenty-somethings with every breath.) xxoo

Expand full comment

Enjoy your kids this Thanksgiving, Tanya! Thanks for writing and for the encouragement. So many words, yes, but so many UNUSABLE words!!!!

Expand full comment

Always enjoy reading Spark but was especially touched looking at your Mom’s handwritten recipe and the special memories that dessert recipe holds in your life and your family members. In this time of everything on the internet, I find it so charming to look at people’s handwriting in any form. Although I lost my Dad in November many years ago, I also have two wonderful, loving younger sisters who were born in November, life is bittersweet!

I’m also reading Roman Stories and Let Us Descend, Jesmyn Ward. I hope you have a wonderful holiday filled with good food and lots of love! ❤️

Expand full comment

I'm going to be sharing more of that sort of thing in a couple of weeks. I love looking at my mother's handed down notes. You're right, there is something about the familiar cursive that brings back the voice of the person. Life is indeed bittersweet. We shall compare notes on Roman Stories!

Expand full comment

Betsy, thank you for this wonderful review of the California 50-state-bookstore event. I'm so grateful to you for sharing your literary community and connecting us all. I loved our walks and talks. Huge congrats on getting to the end of your novel-in-progress. Hallelujah for the clarity this read-thru is giving you, and I love this: "It’s a mess but it’s a good mess." Happy Thanksgiving--enjoy your son's visit.

Expand full comment

This is such a happy post for November- your book...your son...Jhumpa Lahiri’s book in Italian. I love her writing and am considering giving that a go. I’ve been a little stuck lately reading wise. I’ll blame it on November. My husband and I just got away for 3 days and that made e writhing feel lighter - it helped that it was sunny and warm.

Cheers to your week with family.

Expand full comment

I'm guessing it's a typo but when I read "that made writhing feel lighter" I smiled. I often writhe when I write!

I'm glad you got a chance to recharge. Sounds wonderful!

Expand full comment

I love the bookstore walks and talks. Great idea. I'll follow her journey on Facebook. And congratulations my friend--a first draft is always an accomplishment. See you in December. Have a wonderful holiday!

Expand full comment

Thank you, Jen!!!!

Expand full comment

I might as well call the month of November "KALI," because it seems that each and every day has an entry for my new puppy: dog walking 2X daily, nail clip and filing, fall & winter sweaters (Amazon), new treat bag/poop bags (Amazon), package of new toys (Costco), shampoo & moisturizing lotion, new blanket for her dog cushion, pads for the floor (to catch the blood from her first heat, diarrhea medication to toughen up stools, assortment of treats, K-9 Training (10-week course), & Spay surgery. It's only a day prior to Thanksgiving, but I'm certain I can fill in the remaining days with Kali demands. Bark!

Expand full comment

Congratulations on your draft! That is so wonderful. And I love the handwritten recipes from your mom. I have my mom’s recipe file and her favorite cookbook. I’m in the process of trying to organize it all (she died in October of 1997 so it’s been a slow, ongoing process) and I still use many of them, all stained from cooking ingredients. Aw, but the memories they evoke. Happy Thanksgiving even if postponed.

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
November 18, 2023
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

Judy, your recent book launch with actors reading from your memoir was another brilliant example of how to bring a book to life and escape the predictable. I think I'll make a study of all the ways to do book events for an issue in the future. I already have two great examples.

Expand full comment