37 Comments

You describe the sudden urge, need, to get a dog, beautifully. I never wanted one when my children were at home, but as the last one prepared to leave I began to yearn for a puppy! And we've had Ollie 11 years, so I begin to realise it will have an end. But, and he can be a real pain in the proverbial, he has filled our family with so much joy and love!

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Forgive me for being so late to reply. I saw this and immediately felt a wave of "I get it" energy coming my way. Then, thanks in no small part to the four-leggeds in my house, I have been dealing with a series of those unexpected "pain-in-the proverbial" events which have derailed me. As usual, they remain blissfully unaware of their impact on my life. Joy and love. yes.

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Life without a dog? Numb .

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Exactly. I feel muffled and distant without the regular contact and reminder to get out of myself.

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Betsy, thank you so much for featuring STARTER DOG and weaving it gracefully into your own rich life with dogs. You had me expecting a mention. I am honored and touched by your words.

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You are very welcome, Rona. I am sorry to be late in replying but I am glad you appreciated the piece. In turn, I thought "Here I Am" perfectly summed up the magic of a dog's presence. I wish you and Casey joy and peace.

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My dogs have provided me with a calm that I was unable to find anywhere else. My dogs have provided me with the ability to express love openly and unabashedly. My dogs have provided me with comfort that no human could provide. My dogs encourage exercise, twice a day, rain or shine.

I brought 2 Xoloitzquintli (Mexican Hairless) dogs to the US when I returned from Mexico City (after a 3-year teaching gig) & that began my love affair with the naked dog breeds. I've had standards, minis, a Peruvian Inca Orchid, and currently, Kali, an American Hairless Terrier. They all filled my heart with...LOVE, and isn't that the BEST reason to share your life with a dog. I never get tired of watching them; I always enjoy their welcome home tail waggings; I can't get enough of the cuddling. In my mind, dogs are superior to humans: they can spot an enemy a mile away, and they can introduce you to the neighborhood with their ingratiating manner. I just hope I have the flexibility in my older age to bend and scoop up their mostly predictable gifts of poop.

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I loved all of this. I've seen various hairless breeds at the dog park and marvel at their cleverness although I want to slather them with sunscreen or throw a shirt on those unexpectedly naked backs.. I think studies will show that dogs can help humans age more slowly and much more flexibly. Plus there is the reminder to stay humble -- hard to feel anything else when one stoops to scoop the poop.

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I'm so moved by this post and will finally get Starter Dog after months of saying to myself that I simply must read it! You know I'm still missing my dear red rescue Ready, and I'm still not quite ready to write much more than that.

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I know that losing Ready was very hard for you, Jen. It may be a while before you are able to write about it. I am not sure I can write about my dogs adequately - there's just so much to the whole relationship. I think you will appreciate Starter Dog!

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Our beautiful Rosabelle the rescue dog is sleeping soundly at my feet as I read your moving words, Betsy. I can't even begin to express how much this creature means to me....the crazy-fun or introspective walks we take together, the cuddles, the sweetness, the face licks/kisses for various reasons and the mystery of her mood swings. Ha! but mostly the deep and soulful love I feel for her and from her...I've honestly never experienced this type of bond before -- with an animal -- prior to adopting Rosabelle with my husband., in 2020. As a child, my family always had dogs and they were a part of my life, and I always appreciated them, but they were never "my" dog or my responsibility... Usually one of my siblings took ownership of whatever stray followed them home! so while I have always loved dogs, generally speaking, I never knew how much I could LOVE a dog with my whole being. I look forward to reading STARTER DOG. Sounds wonderful! Dog books I've loved: Most recently, Sigrid Nunez' "The Friend" (what a work of art)!... .And Kate DiCamillo's gem: "Because of Winn-Dixie" (which I bought for a niece, but read it/devoured it first before sending it to her)...As a child, "Old Yeller" devastated me -- and stayed with me all these years...

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When I read Elizabeth’s Substack this morning, I just knew there would be an emotional response from my dog loving little sister! I plan to forward the newsletter to Sarah as well! 💙

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I loved THE FRIEND and recommend Maureen Adams’ SHAGGY MUSES, about women writers and their dogs.

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"The Friend" is one of my all time favorite contemporary novel from one of my favorite authors. I'm glad to know about Maureen Adams' book.

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I LOVED "The Friend" -- my best friend of nearly fifty years gave it to me for my birthday a while back and I fell in love with everything Sigrid Nunez. The Friend, though, that was magic. It had to do with an animal but also, much more, it had to do with humans. I loved that book.

Thanks for this lovely comment, Bernadette. Rosabelle is clearly an exceptional dog. I am so happy you found her at what sounds like the perfect moment in your life..

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Great book!

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I don’t share my life with a dog. But I am “aunt” / friend to a small handful of dogs who I love dearly. They are such a joy to know and share time with.

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When I was between dogs, I was "aunt" to a few neighborhood dogs. We took walks together and I happily hung out with them when their people were otherwise engaged. In many ways, this is a win-win for humans and dogs.

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Yes!! 🐾♥️

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Oh, so many dog memories! My family raised poodles (first standards,, later adding miniatures) So I grew up as a member of a dog pack and was given my own pup, Lollipop, when I was 8 years old. She was born on March 31, 1953 ,and died the following November, probably from a form of spinal meningitis. I spent her last night sleeping on the floor next to her. The following March, my parents saw to it that she had a successor, whom I named Poppy, and who was my very own until she died at age 13, the year after Tom and I were married. Although we lived in pet-free student housing, we accepted my parents' offer of the amazing Jeannot then age 9, one of Poppy's many extraordinary puppies, and we brought him into our lives. And so it has gone, on and on and on: a succession of 9 sweet, smart, athletic, devoted poodles, each totally different from the other, leading to the current duo, Amelia (11 1/2) and Felix (2). As I turn 80 in a couple of months, Felix may be the end of this joyous 72-year run of good fortune. It could not have been more essential to my happiness.

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I've always wondered about the history of your poodles and now I have an idea. Such a long line of love and memories. I love the idea of you growing up as a member of a dog pack. I found myself wondering how/if it informed your perception of humans and their behavior.

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PS: Betsy, Rona, and all other Sparkies: I strongly recommend The Friend, by Sigrid Nunez, whose work you most likely already know --- and love. Here's a link to the NPR review: https://www.npr.org/2018/01/23/579233885/the-friend-is-no-shaggy-dog-story

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Know and love this one.

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Lots of fans for "The Friend" here - I love Sigrid Nunez' novels!

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favorite dog book: "The Art of Racing in the Rain"

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I read this a long time ago and remember it fondly but hazily.

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I'm not a "dog person," as they say, every dog that's come into my life and has come with a man who is a dog person. But how fondly I remember certain little toe licks under the table by a cute little black critter at your house during our writing group meetings there.

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Rina loved your toes, Judy.

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A beautiful book about a dog that adopted a man is Merle’s Door by Ted Kerasote. I smiled and cried and loved the whole story.

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I've never heard of this one, Angela. I look forward to checking it out. Thank you!

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As someone who just lost his two dogs, this post is just what I needed to read. The word love captures the essence of what they mean to us.

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I am so sorry for your double loss. I’m not sure any word captures all the love we feel but one thing dogs have taught me — words don’t matter. I understand a bit of your pain and wish you peace and comfort.

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Thank you. 💜 I wrote a post about them to them, which I posted on Substack today. It is my way of paying tribute to two amazing dogs.

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What timing. I live alone. A year after my last dog died, I have just begun the search for a new canine love. I am full of doubts and fears about whether I can stand the responsibility and the possibility of losing another one, but you give me hope. Thank you for all of this luscious writing about dogs, my favorite kind of people.

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I've been thinking about the losses and the decision to get another pet. Why have I kept trying again? I think there is the specific love for a specific creature but there is also the desire to keep loving. Because each dog has been different, I've been able to experience different ways of loving. The losses never get easier but there is grace in the opportunity to keep that river flowing. As I mentioned to Holly here in the comments, when I was between dogs, I played aunt to two different neighbors dogs. I walked then and did a little dog sitting. It's another way.

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Such a great post and loved all the pictures! We have always had multiple dogs throughout our 30 year marriage and I had dogs prior to that too. We currently have three ( plus two cats, two birds and a horse) We recently purchased an RV so we can travel with our dogs. They are such an important part of our lives. Interestingly, our daughter, who grew up with all the dogs (one time for a space of years, we had 5) is not interested in owning a dog. She is definitely a cat lady. She thinks they are much easier. Which is true. However, she’s in her twenties and just starting a big career post college, so she may change her mind one day. We will see.

I think it was George Carlin who said, “Life is a series of dogs.”

That remains so true for us.

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I’ve never heard that George Carlin line. It’s true, isn’t it? If we’re lucky. Cats too, of course. Glad you liked the post and enjoyed thinking back along the years and the dogs you have shared your life with. Your trips in the RV sound exciting!

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