What if we could do it all again?
Blank slates, do-overs, and Designated Survivor
“The beginning is always today.”― Mary Shelley
“I keep turning over new leaves, and spoiling them, as I used to spoil my copybooks; and I make so many beginnings there never will be an end. (Jo March)” ― Louisa May Alcott, “Little Women”
“Sometimes you need to take what you think you know, throw it out the window, and follow your instincts because your life depends on it.” - Hannah Wells, “Designated Survivor”
In This Issue
Blame this edition of Spark on Designated Survivor
Still time to contribute to our Cookbook Issue!
That old song and dance — a moment of Zen from Lisa Stice
But first, this… just because
Now, Hannah, me, and some big questions
FBI agent Hannah Wells is my latest hero. She is a fierce warrior who can take a fist to the face, a body slam against the side of a metal shipping container, withstand repeated injections of sedatives that would make a hippo wobble, and emerge from the whole ordeal with a few nasty bruises and her mental faculties -- not to mention her reflexes -- intact.
And she can do it all in skinny, unrippable pants and two-inch heels. I watched closely the other night as we made our way through Episode 20 of “Designated Survivor.” In the previous episode she’d been wearing spiky two-inch heels when she was kidnapped and bundled into an SUV by the bad guys, then in the next shot she was hauled out of the van and those shoes had been swapped out for boots with two-inch heels, the only concession that Hannah -- or her stylists -- would put up with believing we’d never notice.
It gets better.
The next episode reveals her chained up in that shipping container on a freighter in the middle of the ocean. I almost stopped thinking about the heels when I watched, fascinated, as Wells (played by the incomparable Maggie Q), pried the wire from one cup of her underwire bra, used it to pick the lock of her chain, leveled the guy who was guarding her, and began to run all over the ship.
In the world of “Designated Survivor,” the bra continued to function. I could not spot any slippage, not the slightest sag of the admittedly-perky breast that was no longer supported by the hideous underwire.
We started watching “Designated Survivor” on Netflix because we were looking for escape. Friends told us they’d gotten hooked on the show but didn’t tell us what it was about so we were surprised when we watched the entire government get blown up during a state of the union speech leaving only an about-to-be-fired guy named Tom Kirkman who’d been doing Ben Carson’s job at HUD. He’d been the “designated survivor” a job that is apparently a real thing. It was now his job to rebuild the entire ship of state.
Strangely, even though we’d sworn off any shows that were serious or featured political intrigue, we too were hooked. Yes, it requires suspension of disbelief -- I don’t want to think about how far I could run in heels before crippling myself and let’s not consider what would happen if one side of my bra was dismantled. There is something irresistible, though, about the do-over, the blank slate, the chance to begin again.
Who among us hasn’t imagined waking up one morning with a fresh new future ahead of us unsullied by past mistakes or wrong assumptions? Who doesn’t want to have another shot at getting things right or excising pain that can be unbearable?
I could not stop thinking about this when I was writing Casualties, and in many ways, the question continues to crop up in the novel I’m working on now. As seductive as the idea of a truly blank slate when everything is “in its original state and has not yet been changed by people, experiences, etc.,” we must settle for hauling our baggage into each new chapter of our lives. Sometimes that “new beginning” feels like a re-run. Other times, though, our history gives us the material we need to build whatever future awaits. I wrote about that nearly eight years ago as two of the people I love most faced a tough chapter in their lives.
“It is a short leap from “reconstruction” to other “re” words: Restore. Revisit. Reword. Reinvent. Replace. Remove. Remodel. Renew. Hope lives in these “re” words. I too have at times clung to them like a drowning person hugs a hunk of driftwood. Revise. Retrench. Remarry.
But does any amount of rebuilding truly replace what is gone? The answer is no, of course not, though, years ago, I believed that attaching “re” to the front of a verb meant I could erase a mistake or some damage I had done to myself or others. In order for “re” to work, you have to incorporate bits and pieces from the past even if they are not wood and brick, flesh and bone. Sometimes the only things left to work with are lessons learned or memories shared.”
I still believe what I wrote then, although there are times when I wish it were easier. Sometimes what we’ve learned and felt and experienced can’t help us in a future that turns our world on its head. Still there it is, all our baggage. It’s more than a little dismaying to watch each progressive episode of “Designated Survivor” and see how how little changes, how the energies of all the people left behind in the wake of a terrible tragedy flow almost immediately to rebuilding what was, not what might be. How tightly we cling to what we know, how hard it is to open up to the unknown.
I often wonder what would happen if memories were wiped clean across the globe and we all woke up with only each other and the earth in whatever state it was in before we ruined most of it. When this came up over morning coffee with my husband the other day, I argued that we’d still wind up with religion, problematic political structures, probably war. I argued that there is no real blank slate when it comes to human nature. As we learned a few issues back, even babies as young as three months display inherent bias. That may be true, my husband pointed out, but that doesn’t mean that our world would look the way it does today. Humans are also capable of learning, reflection, applying lessons and although our capacity for these things vary greatly from human to human, collectively we have progressed — this too is part of our makeup. My husband makes excellent coffee and excellent points usually, and preferably, in that order.
My doubts returned, though, when we resumed watching “Designated Survivor” that evening. The producers could scrap the Capitol Building and everyone in it, but could not not envision a future full of heroic women with full figures and sensible shoes. Nevertheless, Hannah Wells used what she had. Then she kept going.
Starting Over Makes for Good Stories
If you google “fiction blank slate” or “fresh starts” you will find thousands of hits and many curated lists of books that address the idea of starting over in one way or another. It’s a recurring theme in romance novels and science fiction. The fascination we have with this idea is bottomless. On several of these lists, I found three books I’ve read and one that I want to read.
Books
“Life After Life” by Kate Atkinson is one of those books I keep on hand to reread because I love the story but, even more, I love how she tells it. One character, Ursula Todd, is given not just one chance to be born but many, each time with a different outcome for herself and others — including Adolf Hitler. You’d think the looping back would be frustrating but it is anything but. Set against the backdrop of an England advancing towards World War II, this is not just a book about one woman’s multiple lives, it asks then explores “what if” in writing that is insightful, often beautiful, funny, and completely accessible.
“Starting Over” by Elizabeth Spencer is the book I’ve not yet read but want to read. I’ve read some of Spencer’s fiction in the past and have always wanted to read more of her. The stories in this 2014 collection each map back to the theme expressed in the title as they explore what Alice Munro calls the “twisting, chafing, inescapable, and life supporting” ties that bind marriages and families.
“Ladder of Years” by Anne Tyler is a book I’ve reread several times and I admit, I was surprised to find it listed with other books grouped by a theme of new starts. For me, it has always been a book that explores one of my longest-running fantasies — walking away from everything I know and has defined me and seeing what happens. This story, too, is about those family ties that bind and chafe but it also about being seen and coming to see one’s self more clearly.
“What is the What” by Dave Eggers is labeled a novel but is based on a real man, Valentino Achek Deng, one of 4,000 Sudanese refugees — one of the so-called “Lost Boys” who found his long arduous way to the United States to start a new life. Eggers is one of my favorite writers and all the things I love about his story telling — the risks, the humor, the insight, but most of all the heart — are woven together to tell a story of survival and starting over that stays with the reader.
Lists
From Buzzfeed: 24 Books That Will Help You Face a New Beginning
From Bustle: 6 Novels About Do-Overs, Starting Over, and Second Chances
Watch
The “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” is the story about what happens when painful memories are removed so sufferers can have a “new beginning.” The question becomes — what happens when the memories are removed but the people remain how they are?
Cookbooks: It’s Not Too Late!
Next week’s issue of Spark has been christened “The Cookbook Issue” and it is a collaborative effort. You still have time to contribute! Just read below and send me what you’ve got by December 10. I have LOVED what’s been coming in and so will you. We have room for more so read below and add your cookbooks and your stories to our collection.
Seems to me that every book on our shelves has a story behind it and no book has more backstory than the cookbook(s) we dip into on a regular basis. You know, the one(s) with the battered cover, or the index box full of scrawled-on cards, or binders stuffed with pages torn from magazines. Or maybe it’s the one your mother or grandmother gave you with scribbled notes in the margins. It could be a brand new one with pictures of dishes that are more fun to look at than make. Whatever your go-to source for cooking anything is, I’m asking you to share a photo of it along with a few lines about why this is the one you are sharing, what you like/love/hate about it, how your relationship with that book has changed over time (or even if you never really started the relationship). You can take photos of any part of the book - the cover, a particular page, a single recipe. Send them to me by December 10 at elizabethmarro@substack.com. Thank you in advance!
That’s it for this week! Let me know how you are, and what you are reading. I love hearing from you. In fact, start thinking about this right now: what book(s) did you read in 2020 that you are most glad you read for whatever reason. If there is one you regret reading, share that too. We can all read each other’s choices in the last issue of the year.
Meanwhile, don’t forget - all books mentioned here are available through the Spark Community Recommendations page at bookshop.org where every sale benefits local bookstores and helps us raise money for literacy programs.
Thank you for reading. Stay safe. See you next week.
Gratefully,
Betsy
P.S. And now…your moment of Zen
Poet and Spark community member Lisa Stice found herself cracking up over this clip from the 1933 movie “The Prizefighter and The Lady” with boxer Max Baer and Myrna Loy. The women dance rings around Max, sometimes literally. That was nearly as satisfying as watching Hannah Wells punch out her attackers without teetering once on those heels.
Calling for Your Contribution to “Moment of Zen”
What is YOUR moment of Zen? Send me your photos, a video, a drawing, a song, a poem, or anything with a visual that moved you, thrilled you, calmed you. Or just cracked you up. This feature is wide open for your own personal interpretation.
Come on, go through your photos, your memories or just keep your eyes and ears to the ground and then share. Send your photos/links, etc. to me by replying to this email or simply by sending to: elizabethmarro@substack.com. The main guidelines are probably already obvious: don’t hurt anyone -- don’t send anything that violates the privacy of someone you love or even someone you hate, don’t send anything divisive, or aimed at disparaging others. Our Zen moments are to help us connect, to bond, to learn, to wonder, to share -- to escape the world for a little bit and return refreshed.
I can’t wait to see what you send!
memories and do-overs, and wonderful reads - oh my!