This week has gone to the dogs

A few words about dogs and some reading for short attention spans

Welcome! You’ve reached Spark. If a book club married a writer’s group, this community would be their child. Learn more here or just read on. If you received this from a friend, please join us by subscribing. It’s free! All you have to do is press the button below. Thanks for joining us!

So.

I’ve never done online dating but I have spent the past few weeks online with dog rescues searching for a match. So far, it’s been tough. I swipe right, but the rescue on the other end swipes left. Or I swipe right, but the pup that caught my eye and cracked a little opening in my heart was snapped up. 

Belatedly I’ve realized that the applications I’ve filled out with honesty and brevity should have been treated more like college admission essays or submissions for a literary memoir prize. I’ve started to attach video links and photos of past dogs. With some organizations, I am not just competing with local families, or younger families, I’m competing with families from across the country. Embedded in all the applications is a question: why do you want a dog? 

Here is what I have not said, but probably should.

Dear Nameless Contact in [Name of Rescue Organization],

I want a dog because...

Well, that’s a great question. Why DO I want a dog? Why do I want to go through all the work, and the love, and the heartbreak of loving a four-legged animal who cannot tell me where it hurts and whose time with me will be relatively short? 

Why would I want to disrupt the quiet routine I’ve developed with my husband, the freedom to come and go without worrying about having to get back, the time I need to write a book that has already taken longer than I expected? What is this need I have  -- at this late stage -- to interrupt my life with more...life? 

Why would I want to wake up at dawn every morning or several times a night when our dog has eaten something that does not agree with her, or when there is thunder, or when she is not accustomed to sleeping in the crate I have so lovingly padded and prepared for her? 

Why would I take her out on a leash in the rain and walk endlessly around the block so she will finally get over her fear of the elements and pee on the grass while the clouds piss on our heads?

Why would I agree to spend so many of the limited hours I have left on this earth, teaching her to “come,” “stay,” “leave it,” or “sit” when I never really even got my own child to do these things on command? 

Why would I brush her teeth, lather her in a bath she is not at all sure she wants, throw balls, stuffed rabbits, pick up endless poops, and try to get her to understand that “walk” means more than three steps at a time in one direction? 

Well, I’ll be honest, the thought of starting over sometimes scares me to death. It’s not the poop, the pee, the vomit, or the barking, or the midnight walks. It’s not the training, or the patience that will be asked of me on days when I don’t have much left in reserve. All of that comes easy enough, even the patience in the end. What scares me is how I might fail this little stranger,  this unknown creature whose history has only lately known safety and warmth and the glimmerings of companionship and whose future I can only shape so far.

The dogs I have loved have taught me that love is love - at the core, there is no real difference between loving a human and loving a creature, at least for me. Both begin with a desire for something more and, often, a surge of oxytocin that suffuses everything with a rosy glow. But the lasting kind of love comes from  the daily acts, the small exchanges, the willingness to put another’s needs ahead -- at least sometimes -- ahead of my own. The fear I’m feeling at the prospect of starting over is a close cousin to the fear I felt when I fell in love with my husband after years of failed relationships and the fear I felt when I knew I was going to have a baby. You could argue the risks with human love are greater. That depends on how you see love. And animals. 

I could choose not to put myself out there -- let’s face it, I have a great husband, a loving family, so why do I want a dog? I’m greedy. I want to keep loving some more. You’ve got dogs who need that. 

I recognize that you are in the business of making sure to the degree possible that my future four-legged and I are a match. We won’t always see eye to eye on that but that’s okay. I have to have faith that the right dog will come along. She has before. She will again. And I will be ready.

[Update: On Saturday, a few hours after this newsletter goes out, I have a date with a white fluffy dog of indeterminate parentage. Next week, I’m scheduled to foster a poodle mix. I’ve never thought of myself as the right person for a white fluff ball or a poodle but I’m open. Who knows? 

Wish me luck.]

Dogs Who Have Taught Me Love

CHLOE

KATO

CLOUSEAU

RINA

---

My Short Little Span of Attention Reading List

So as you can probably deduce, my attention span has been affected by my dog search. More than once I’ve hit the pause button on the whole process, only to take another spin through the more than ten rescue websites I have bookmarked. I do this in between pages of my novel, in between innings of the NCLS (yes, I’ve been watching baseball - again), halfway through my morning walks.

Not surprisingly, I’ve reached mostly for short reads this week. Short stories. Short articles.

Almost finished: Best American Mystery and Suspense 2021. I’m looking forward to talking more about this collection of short stories next week but if you are looking for some short, satisfying reads that, in the words of the anthology’s series editor Steph Cha, “reveals the cracks in our characters, our relationships, our communities, our countries…” while thoroughly entertaining you, grab this book. Bonus: it features the story “Neighbors,” by Nikki Dolson who you may remember from this wonderful interview she gave us last year.

Lists To Check Out: Who knew there were so many books out there aimed for those of us with short attention spans? Here are some to check out:

7 Perfect Books For Readers With Short Attention Spans (Bookstr)

These 11 Gripping Reads Are Perfect For Those With Short Attention Spans (Bustle)

20 Must Read Short Books For Short Attention Spans (Book Riot)

---

R.L. Maizes Understands Dogs, Cats, and Their People

One of these days, I want to talk about books and dogs with author R. L. Maizes who wrote the imaginative and absolutely compelling novel Other People’s Pets about a young veterinarian in training who is also an animal empath who robs wealthy homes to help her father but leaves notes and medicines for the pets of those she robs. She writes about animals without sentiment and a strong sense of the nuance and complexities of the relationship between humans and their pets. I loved reading this book and I’m looking forward to reading her collection, We Love Anderson Cooper which is available now on Kindle for just $2.99 if you would like to take advantage of it.

She also wrote both of these short reads, the story “How to Become A Cat Lady” in Electric Literature and this essay in the New York Times, “Bad Dog.” [If you can’t access the NYT piece and want to, let me know and I will get it to you.]

---

That’s it for this week. Thank you for reading, for understanding, and for the great notes you’ve been sending my way. I love hearing from you so let me know how you are, what you are reading, what you are thinking about. Got a dog story? Share it with us. Looking for a book? Check out the ones in the Spark Community Recommendations Page at bookshop.org where every sale supports independent bookstores and, eventually, will help us raise money for literacy programs.

Also - send us a moment of Zen! See below for details. And if you know anyone who would like this issue or any other issue of SPARK, here’s a button that makes it easy to share:

Thanks again. Caio for now,

Betsy

P.S. And now, your moment of Zen…The perfect song for those of us whose attention spans have been challenged

Calling for Your Contribution to “Moment of Zen”

What is YOUR moment of Zen? Send me your photos, a video, a drawing, a song, a poem, or anything with a visual that moved you, thrilled you, calmed you. Or just cracked you up. This feature is wide open for your own personal interpretation.

Come on, go through your photos, your memories or just keep your eyes and ears to the ground and then share. Send your photos/links, etc. to me by replying to this email or simply by sending to: elizabethmarro@substack.com. The main guidelines are probably already obvious: don’t hurt anyone  -- don’t send anything that violates the privacy of someone you love or even someone you hate, don’t send anything divisive, or aimed at disparaging others. Our Zen moments are to help us connect, to bond, to learn, to wonder, to share -- to escape the world for a little bit and return refreshed. 

I can’t wait to see what you send!

(And if you’ve gotten here, liked something, and still haven’t hit the heart below, now’s your chance! )