The World is An Awful Place

The search for grace

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In this issue:

• Let’s talk about grace

• Some reads that may help us get there, or not

• Two new resources for readers and writers

This is Not About God, Religion, or Prayer

“The world is an awful place,” – a person I love and respect who took the words right out of my mouth not long ago. 

“I do not understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.” – Anne Lamott

I don’t believe in the God I was introduced to way back in Catechism class but I do believe in a force that is larger than ourselves. After a number of tries, I have rejected organized religion and am floundering for a substitute. I’m still figuring out what all this means for prayer which I have never given up and probably never will even if sometimes I have no idea what I’m doing. 

I do, however, believe in grace, that mystery that “meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.” 

Think about the last moment you stumbled on a little light, some moment or encounter that felt, for want of a better word, like grace. What happened? Where did it find you and how did it leave you? 

We’ve been rewatching a lot of Mom episodes lately. I’ve been musing about why this show about women in recovery from addiction draws me. I don’t love all of the characters. I don’t love being reminded about the realities of loving someone who is addicted to alcohol or drugs, or the ways I have, in the past, damaged relationships I care about because of my own unexamined need for chaos and control.  

I think what pulls me in – besides the decent writing and the obvious talent of the women in each role – is that Mom shows me what grace looks like. There is grace in forgiveness and self-forgiveness. There is grace in friendship. There is the reminder that laughter, even dark laughter, is itself a form of grace. Grace is the light that filters through the cracks in the rubble of the worst mistakes, the worst failures, and lights a path forward.  

When my friend uttered the words, ‘The world is an awful place,' the other day, I was grateful. He made it possible for me to say it too and acknowledge that I am afraid. 

Another war. More refugees. The melting of ice at both the top and the bottom of the world. The vanishing rainforest. The ever present hunger for power and control and wealth on a diminishing planet. The fear and loathing we cultivate within our tribes and visit upon those who live outside it. The cruelty that humans are capable of and that I, as one of those humans, am capable of. Cancer. Viruses. Broken healthcare systems. The list is long and getting longer every day and the things on it touch people I know and love. 

I am afraid. I don’t want to be but I am. I tell myself I have no right to be afraid, not when my Ukrainian friend harbors a sister with her in one European country while their parents, brother-in-law, cousins remain in their small town outside Kharkiv. “My family is alive,” she writes. I have no right to be afraid when a loved one has to brace herself every three months for scans that will tell her whether or not cancer has returned. I am blessed with good fortune. I am safe. I am healthy. I am not alone. 

The thing about fear is that it can temporarily override gratitude or lessons learned years ago about what I can control and what I can’t. I am open to help from any source.

Sometimes a little grace falls into my line of vision and I am grateful. It comes in the form of an essay, a poem, or a prayer. I am a sucker for articles that pry open my heart like this one from Frank Bruni:

• “Sandwich Boards” - Frank Bruni, New York Times [If you can’t access this, let me know and I can send it to you as a pdf or as a gift]

Or this one bu Naomi Shihab-Nye:

• “Wandering Around An Albuquerque Airport Terminal” by Naomi Shihab-Nye (Thank you to Salt for Melons for bringing it to my attention. 

Shelf of Grace

I have a small collection of books that occupy half a shelf next to my bed. Some of these were gifts. Many are souvenirs from difficult times. I have gone years without reading most of them yet I keep them nearby where I can see them. God is mentioned in several. The soul is also mentioned. Prayer is called many things but it, too, is in those pages. Meditation, contemplation, mindfulness are all described. What all these books have in common: the focus on what love is and what it is not, the difference between feelings and actions, how to forgive ourselves and others, and how to begin again when we fail. Resistance to darkness or change is futile. The sacred lives in everyday life. The focus is always on practice, never perfection. 

My “Shelf of Grace”

​​“Spirituality is seeded, germinates, sprouts and blossoms in the mundane. It is to be found and nurtured in the smallest of daily activities.” ― Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul: A guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life

Serenity Prayer

I have a wooden plaque with the Serenity Prayer on it that came into my life when I was confirmed. I had no idea then that it was the prayer uttered most often in recovery groups but the prayer always made sense to me. It still does. 

There are people who write about God, grace, and every day life much with much more ease that I ever will: Nadia Bolz Weber, Anne Lamott, Diana Butler Bass’s The Cotttage or Sarah Bessey.

I have never managed to master meditation but Sharon Salzburg brings me the closest. She starts small and was the first person who made me realize the power that lies in the simple words “Begin again.” 

A few books from my “shelf of grace”

• The Little Book of Atheist Spirtuality - Andre Comte-Sponville (Author)  Nancy Huston (Translator)

• Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott

• Care of the Soul: A guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life  by Thomas Moore

• The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching: Transforming Suffering Into Peace, Joy, and Liberation by Thich Nhat Hanh

• Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer by Richard Rohr

• The Pocket Pema Chodron - Pema Chodron

Do you have an author or a book or two you reach for when you need a little grace?

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Resources for Readers & Writers

Here are a couple of recent additions to our growing list of resources for readers and for writers. Click on the links below to check out all the resources and please suggest any that you have found valuable.

Resources for Readers and Book Clubs

• Book Riot - A site “dedicated to the idea that writing about books and reading should be just as diverse as books and readers are.” Here you will find a one-stop place that includes all genres and offers lists, reviews, podcasts, author interviews, resources and merch for readers.

Resources for Writers and Writers’ Groups

• MasterClass: Neil Gaiman Teaches The Art of Storytelling: 16 video lectures with downloads included. Lots here for the writer at every stage of development and includes a section on graphic novels. (I loved it). Requires a subscription to MasterClass but if shared with a friend this can be affordable and there is a wide range of classes to take over the course of a year. 

And in case you missed it…

You can now read Spark in the new Substack app for iPhone.

With the app, you’ll have a dedicated Inbox for my Substack and any others you subscribe to. New posts will never get lost in your email filters, or stuck in spam. Longer posts will never cut-off by your email app. Comments and rich media will all work seamlessly. The Substack app is currently available for iOS. If you don’t have an Apple device, you can join the Android waitlist here.

That’s it for this week. Next week’s Spark will be brought to you by Kindle, the cat of writer David Abrams in a return to our feature, “The Writer's Dog.” While you are reading that, I will be visiting with my son for the first time in over two years. I can hardly believe it.

Let me know how you are, what you’re reading, and what you’ll be reading next. We’ll add the books to the Spark Community Recommendations page at bookshop.org where every sale supports independent bookstores. We will use whatever commission we raise to support a literacy program chosen by the community.

Ciao for now.

Gratefully,

Betsy

P.S. And now, your moment of Zen…Sea Diamonds and Cormorants

Frida, that tiny source of grace moments, has grown sufficiently confident to walk with me along the cliffs. So we did it for the first time since her arrival and this is what we saw in the midday sun.

Calling for Your Contribution to “Moment of Zen”

What is YOUR moment of Zen? Send me your photos, a video, a drawing, a song, a poem, or anything with a visual that moved you, thrilled you, calmed you. Or just cracked you up. This feature is wide open for your own personal interpretation.

Come on, go through your photos, your memories or just keep your eyes and ears to the ground and then share. Send your photos/links, etc. to me by replying to this email or simply by sending to: elizabethmarro@substack.com. The main guidelines are probably already obvious: don’t hurt anyone  -- don’t send anything that violates the privacy of someone you love or even someone you hate, don’t send anything divisive, or aimed at disparaging others. Our Zen moments are to help us connect, to bond, to learn, to wonder, to share -- to escape the world for a little bit and return refreshed. 

I can’t wait to see what you send!