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Jennifer Silva Redmond's avatar

What a beautiful post. Thank you fur sharing this.

My father, who died at 91 just three weeks ago in Thailand (he moved there in 2003), sent me emails almost daily for the last decade of his life. What a gift!

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

You are so right. That kind of regular correspondence leaves a trail to follow while it provides a little touch each day. I'm sorry that your dad is gone but glad you each had that gift of correspondence.

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Bernadette Quigley's avatar

So incredibly moving, Betsy. Your mom is a gem! And so smart, kind, deeply loving and a unique woman of letters! "Hug yourself and hug your kid." WOW. Profound!.....I used to be an avid letter writer myself (before email and texting) and still have boxes of letters from family members and my husband and close friends. When my dad unexpectedly died 30 years ago, I found myself needing to see his handwriting and words and found two beautifully expressive (and encouraging) letters he sent me. I read those letters often. They are the greatest gift.

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

Yes! Seeing that handwriting can be a little like touching the person all over again. Those slants and loops are so familiar, it brings back their voices. Those two letters are gold. I'm so glad you have them and had him.

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Cuauhtemoc Q Kish's avatar

My mother, working on her 96th year, has sent me countless letters over our respective lifetimes, but we also corresponded with tape recordings that allowed me to hear her voice and feel comfort.

I purchased (exact date unknown) 2 tape recording devices and gifted one to my mother. I was surprised that she seemed to enjoy this activity, and at times, she even encouraged my father and my siblings to add their voices to the tapes as well.

I have a box full of these tapes, and when my mom passes, I may need to hear her voice, to hear the comfort she has always provided.

Additionally, my mom kept a journal for decades, and they filled an entire bookshelf. On one visit home, with her permission, I read them all and it resulted in an article about how her simple life kept our family together with love, kindness, and great recipes.

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

You have a treasure chest full of your mother's words. They will be there for you now whenever you need them. She sounds like a remarkable woman as well as the beating heart of your family.

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Wendy Varley's avatar

Touched to read about your mother’s letters, Elizabeth. Wonderful that you saved them.

I discovered my own mother’s letters to her mother about family life, which made their way back to me after my parents died. They were such a window on life in the 1960s and on my own early years. Absolute treasure and so good to ‘hear’ her youthful and loving voice again through her words.

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

Wendy, thank you for reading and commenting. What a gift you have in your own mother's letters. It truly is something special to still hear that voice.

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Sarelle McCoard's avatar

My daughter is 25 now but not too late to start writing letters to her. It’s a beautiful practice. I have boxes of cards and letters I have received over my lifetime some from people I don’t even remember.

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Cathy Schibli's avatar

I loved this post, Betsy. Not just because your mom is my sister and I have so many wonderful memories of you growing up… but it shows another dimension of her as she travelled her way through her adult life as the Mom of such a great family. Love reading Spark and cannot wait to read that finished novel! Much love, Cathy

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

Hi Cath,I'm so sorry for not responding sooner. I thought I had! It must be interesting to "hear" your sister's voice in these letters. You know her in such a different way. I'm glad you got to see this.

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B. Lynn Goodwin's avatar

Kudos to your mom and to you for sharing her story.

www.writeradvice.com

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

Thank you! I'm glad you appreciated them.

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JUDY REEVES's avatar

What beautiful letters, Betsy, and beautiful that you have them all. I can't think that I ever got a letter from my mother. I did, once when I was traveling, get a letter from my father which I treasure. My "letters" to my children are emails and texts. But letters, real letters, how wonderful. Even now I go to my mail box with a sense of anticipation, which is soon dashed by the reality of either junk mail or solicitations or an empty box. The lost art of letter writing. Thank you for sharing these with us.

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

That feeling of going to the mailbox -- yes, it is not the same these days, is it? I can't think of anyone that I write real letters to now on a regular basis. Email is the substitute and it is not the same. I'm thinking about this now. If I take the time to write a thoughtful letter electronically - why not take the time to send it by snail mail? The cost of stamps is getting ridiculous but maybe that makes them even more special when they arrive.

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beth Kennedy's avatar

wow, your mother is an amazing woman. my daughters and I have always written each other letters over the years and I treasure them

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

Yes, my mom is amazing. Those letters you and your daughters have written to each other are a treasure -- they can bring you right back to a time in all your lives in a single line or two. I'm happy for you that you have them.

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Sandra de Helen's avatar

I used to save every letter, every card, but I've moved so often, I finally off loaded almost all of them. I have a few cards from family and friends. For the last several years of her life (probably 20 years) Mom and I talked on the phone every Thursday. Right up until the last four weeks of her life and she no longer felt up to it.

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

Funny, the moves I've made have often required leaving boxes behind and I am not sure how this one survived. Hearing your Mom's voice every week is a special thing, too. I am guessing that even now Thursdays come and you still think of her and perhaps hear the echoes of her voice.

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Sandra de Helen's avatar

You're right. Even after 13 years.

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Andria Williams's avatar

Love this post, Betsy!

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

Thank you, Andria!

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Merton, Andrew's avatar

You're lucky to have these, Betsy. My mom died at 78; until then we talked at least once a week on the phone. But letters have, perhaps, a more intimate quality. Have you thought of doing a post on epistolary fiction? Here's a pretty good list: https://reedsy.com/discovery/blog/epistolary-novels. I've read only a few of these. My favorite is Marilyn Robinson's "Gilead" (no. 46).

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

I love that idea and this list. In addition to Gilead (which I loved), I've read 7 others on this list, all wonderful.

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Jolene Handy's avatar

So moved by this, Betsy.

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

Thank you for sharing that, Jolene. It occurs to me that my mother's letters take me traveling through time. More than one of them contained recipes!

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Debra Fried's avatar

Your mother's voice is beautiful - and the letters! What a treasure. Thank you for sharing this - I loved it.

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

Thank you for letting me know this, Debra. I'm so glad it spoke to you.

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patricia nisenholz's avatar

WoW!! What a treasure trove you possess.. for you.. and to your children and their children..

You "sparked" an idea for me... a 1x letter to my granddaughter as she begins her last year of college... a "rising senior" as they say........

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

This is exciting, Patricia. I am thrilled that you are moved to write your own letters and to your granddaughter. Consider keeping copies of the letters you send as well as any messages she sends back to you (by hand or in whatever format she prefers). I've found that it helps sometimes to have copies of my own thoughts so I can see how they've evolved.

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