In and Out of Noir-ishness

A few thoughts and some great reads with a tinge of darkness

“In Greek tragedy, they fall from great heights. In noir, they fall from the curb.”
― Dennis Lehane

So, it’s been another week of “staying in place” and I’m supposed to pick up a jacket I left at the cleaners back in February. The idea of going to the cleaners shouldn’t scare me. But it does. The man who runs the cleaners says he’s open a few hours every day because laundry services are considered an essential business. But is having my jacket back essential? After all, it’s been there since early February. What’s another few weeks?

So, okay, I’ll wait on the jacket.

But what about the mail I brought in today? Did an ungloved hand swipe it with virus? And library books? And the pizza I would love to order and go pick up so I can support our local community. I miss pizza. Actually, I rarely eat it. I miss the idea of it. I think I want some now because I’m nearly out of the chocolate cake I have been nibbling on morning and afternoons when the writing is stalled and my thoughts are circling the Covid-19 drain.

This is the shape fear takes lately. I’ll go along feeling almost okay, writing in the morning, making lunch with my husband, walking our dog in the afternoons without any bumps and then along comes a small, every-day decision and I freeze. Just for a second. Every normal task and every daily routine are freighted now with exaggerated responsibility and at the same time, selfishness — a desire to protect myself and my husband from the possibility of illness which could lead to separation which is my real fear. Then I think of those who are far less protected than me and display more courage . The feeling of selfishness and helplessness grows. Even on the sunniest San Diego afternoon there is a tinge of darkness.

In short, I am no hero and although, like everyone, I try to nurture my better instincts, my more generous impulses, I have, these past weeks, come face to face with my flaws. I think this is why I found noir-ish reading satisfying this week. Noir is an escape but also a kind of mirror reminding me that I am just another flawed human living in a messy, complicated world.

Some Noir-ish Reads

For example, there was this new short story by Nikki Dolson: Liars, Killers, and Thieves by Nikki Dolson

“As much as I wanted to sleep, I stayed awake listening to the night and the AC unit, waiting for the sun. As if my dreams might only come true in the dark.” Nikki Dolson.

The protagonist is Laura Park, a young woman and contract killer called upon to do an errand of mercy while she’s on the run from those who want her dead. I met Nikki five years ago at a Writing by Writers conference. She is fearless. In her hands, Laura is somehow both lethal and yet, strangely sympathetic. We root for her.

Then I went back to Winnebago a very short piece of flash fiction written by one of my favorite writers, Jim Ruland from the point of view of a cat - yes a cat - hitching a ride.

“He’s running hard but yoked to what he’s running from. I wish I could tell him there is no getting away from the past. It’s not the thing in the rear-view we want to leave behind, but the mirror itself.” Jim Ruland, Winnebago

I read Jim’s novel Forest of Fortune first and then his short stories. He is funny. His insights into the human animal are sharp yet compassionate. He is generous with his time and talent and has hosted writers for years in his literary reading series Vermin on the Mount. And each week he shares author events, new books and other info for writers and readers in his newsletter Message from the Underworld. Finally, if you are into punk music, check out My Damage co-written with Keith Morris and his upcoming book Do What You Want co-written with Bad Religion.

Old Book, New Read

My husband handed me Alibi by Joseph Kanon after it kept him up nights because he had to keep reading. The novel is not strictly noir but it has all the elements. Its strength lies not in “who done it” — this we know. It is what happens after, the desperate efforts of a man who believes he killed for the right reasons to control all that happens afterwards in a post-war Venice. He is not who he thought he was. Every page gives us the chance to wonder if we are who we think we are. I liked that. I never read Kanon’s book The Good German and probably won’t but I am glad I read Alibi.

And if you’re looking for reading ideas that are NOT noir-ish, this LA Times column had a lovely list: A Reader Looking for Remedies

Just Added to my TBR List

I’m looking forward to reading both of these new books:

Hex: A Novel by Rebecca Dinerstein Knight. Lauren Groff says: “In her brilliant second novel, Rebecca Dinerstein Knight cannily explores both the poisons and the antidotes of love, ambition, mentorship, and yearning, and she does it all in prose so lively that I often found myself laughing with pleasure. Hex is some dark and joyous witchery."
—Lauren Groff, author of Florida.

Learn more about Hex here as Anne Lamott interviews the author: Anne LaMott interviews Rebecca Dinerstein Knight (and while you’re there checking out all the other new books, writers introduced on A Mighty Blaze this week)

Billie Holiday is singing and singing and singing, her dusty paper-flower voice echoing off the tiled walls. - Home Safe from So We Can Glow by Leesa Cross-Smith

So We Can Glow by Leesa Cross-Smith. I heard about this collection of stories first from David Abrams, novelist and mastermind behind The Quivering Pen which is a go-to source for me when I want to read about new books or old books (more on that in a minute). Then I read Roxane Gay’s review of this book on Goodreads and clicked “want to read” immediately. Here is an excerpt of Roxane Gay’s review:

“These are stories about breathless love, lustful abandon, all that glitters, hot summers, cool pavement, sticky skin, beautifully beating hearts. There is such authenticity to these stories and nostalgia that is tempered with just enough of a clear-eyed understanding of the world as it is, not just how we hoped it might be. It’s also refreshing to see a writer crafting stories that are so unapologetically for women, about women, a love letter to who we are, the best and worst of us, held high and true, so we can glow as brightly as we dare.”

Lit-Link of the week

The Quivering Pen was created by David Abrams author of Brave Deeds and Fobbitt, is a self-described “Book Evangelist” who offers reviews, free books, and original writing by authors. Long-time subscribers to his weekly newsletter get the first chance to read and enter Friday Freebies: a chance to win a stack of new books fresh from the publisher to his front porch. Original essays by authors share glimpses of their libraries and the firsts they encounter along the journey to becoming a published author. He curates the #SundaySentence on Twitter where he invites all of us, readers and writers, to share “The best sentence you’ve read this past week; presented out of context and without commentary.” It’s a mini-anthology of provocative, beautiful sentences from books I may have read or may never read; each ignites a small spark of recognition, wonder, and joy. For a little while on Sundays, readers and writers connect over the discoveries they’ve made.

Signing off now. Let me know what you’ve been reading, writing, thinking about and if you have a go-to source for new books and things to read, please share!

Gratefully yours,

Betsy

P.S. And here’s your moment of Zen…nothing noir about this except her fur