Find the funny

Laughing broke the curse and made me brave again

Before we begin…

When’s the last time you found yourself laughing out loud? Was it something you read, heard, saw, or felt? Tell us about it because I know I’m not the only one looking for a reason to laugh these days.

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I’d forgotten what it was like

I went to see comedians W. Kamau Bell and Dwayne Kennedy at a comedy club last Saturday and laughed for two hours straight. It was cathartic, better than a good cry.

I’d forgotten what it felt like to laugh hard for a couple of hours. I’d forgotten the extra jolt of endorphins that comes when you’re laughing along with a crowd of other people. Here’s what surprised me: the effects lasted. I woke up last Sunday morning no longer slave to the fear, sadness, anger, and anxiety that have been leading me around by the nose for the last few months. Nearly a week later, as I write these words, I’m still okay. The world hasn’t changed, but the part of me that is sick of being sick and tired has. I’m a little braver, a little more limber, less fragile. I’ve stopped fantasizing about experimenting with MDMA. At least for now.

Funny is not about looking on the bright side, right? The best humor causes a pinch of pain, recognition, or both. As I laughed last Saturday, I was laughing at the things that scared me. I was laughing, sometimes uncomfortably, at myself. As anyone who has ever attended a family funeral can attest, laughter erupts as often as tears.

You know what funny is. And what it isn’t. I don’t need to go on about it – that would be the most boring way to talk about humor there is. But I will say this: comedians are writers who don’t just get naked on the page, they get naked on the stage. They try, they fail, they adjust in front of a live audience that provides an instant review. The show I saw last Saturday was not the finished product - it was the second in a tour that W. Kamau Bell is using to refine his act. I get to refine my work in private. It is rare that someone comes up to me personally and tells me what they thought of my book. And no one claps or heckles when I’m bent over my keyboard refining the draft of another one – although it is possible the dogs are sniggering behind my back.

I wish I were funnier. I get laughs from time to time, not always on purpose. Much of the humor I inadvertently provide to others comes in the form of physical humor when I would most like to make a good impression. I met my husband’s daughter for the first time many years ago in a cavernous room at the old Hotel Del Coronado. When I got up to leave, I gathered my things with what I imagined was the right amount of decorum and confidence, waved goodbye, and marched right into a closet. Years later, after living with me and realizing that this sort of thing was not a one-off, my husband began to introduce me in this way, “This is my wife, Betsy. She does her own stunts.”

I have made a crowd of strangers laugh twice by telling stories about being naked or nearly naked, once thanks to a shopping expedition with my mother, another thanks to trying to have sex in bear country. Those laughs were intoxicating. My serious streak, though, runs wide and deep. If I want to laugh – and I do – I can’t count on myself. I need help.

I’m going to seek out the funny and let it in. I’m looking for the line in a novel or short story that makes me grin and then crack up out loud. I’m signing up for more trips to comedy clubs. I want to read more essays and stories like this one by

Sheila Moeschen

or this one by

Michael Estrin

. I’ll watch those reels my husband keeps sending me and I’m going to take a few minutes each day to remember when my family and friends and I found something hysterically funny and feel that helplessness that comes when we couldn’t stop laughing. Because after laughing like that, I don’t feel helpless anymore.

Where can I find the funny? Tell me.

What is the funniest book you’ve ever read? Don’t keep it to yourself. If a book didn’t make you laugh, share something that did — a story, a show, a video, something that happened to you. I need it. We all need it.

After the show I got to say hi

Some funny stories for you

Sheila Moeschen

(Humor Saves) with a story that just goes to show that naked remains funny, especially in the dead of a New Hampshire winter.

Michael Estrin

(Situation Normal) has the best ears for eavesdropping and a talent for being in the right place at the right time. My favorite posts are the ones when he just leaves his house to buy a cup of coffee or a burrito and reports back.

The “About” section of

Norman T. Leonard

’s newsletter All Kinds of Funny is a great place to start (you’ll think twice about where you throw your next dog bone). Keep going though, especially if you like Basset Hounds, had an inappropriate response after drenching an innocent in condiments (this is me, raising my hand), or needed to find a glimmer of light to follow through a tragedy.

Curious about or already love W. Kamau Bell? Here are 5 free subscriptions to his Substack

I knew nothing about W. Kamau Bell before his eight-year run on CNN as host of United Shades of America. There, he not only brought his humor but curiosity, empathy, and willingness to ask big questions along with a kind of joy that was palpable even through the television screen. I’ve since found out that he’s won awards for his work there. He has written or collaborated on three books including the just-published Who is Government? The Untold Story of Public Service edited by Michael Lewis.

We talked about the project that led to this book a while back. He wrote about his goddaughter who was, until recently, a paralegal in the U.S. Department of Justice. I was able to ask him last Saturday how she was faring and it’s good news: she was accepted to law school and hopes she will return to working for the government because she saw the need for work like hers.

This interview with Ted Danson shows a lot about what makes W. Kamau Bell special. He’s also on the board of an organization, Donors Choose, that is right in line with the goal of supporting early childhood public education and literacy by helping teachers fund projects that they otherwise would be spending on out-of-pocket. The program matches you with teachers in public schools in your area or anywhere you want along with programs that you want to encourage (STEM, art, literacy, more). It’s practical and the impact can be immediate. When I donated this week to a local San Diego teacher’s project about plants, I got not only a thank-you note but the news that shortly after I donated the project was fully funded.

5 Free Subscriptions

I’ve got five free one-month subscriptions to W. Kamau Bell’s Substack, Who’s With Me? To give away. Let me know in the comments if you’re interested. I’ll give them out on a first-come first-served basis unless everyone says yes at once and then I’ll do a random drawing.

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Literacy news: Italians boost reading for all

Italy believes in libraries and reading. As reported by

Jamie Mackay

of The Week in Italy, the Italian government is supporting literacy these days in three ways. She writes,

“…on 19 February the Senate passed a new decree named the “Piano Olivetti” which outlines a new programme of cultural investment across the country’s suburbs. This plan is actually one of the better proposals Meloni’s government has come up with so far; not least because it aims to foster more reading across society as a whole. Among other things, Italy is about to see a new fund of 30 million euros which will enable libraries in small comuni to purchase more books. Parallel to this, the government is also overseeing some modest investments to support the country’s print magazine sector (10m euro grants) and aspiring young booksellers (4m euro grants).”

Literacy Program Spotlight: United Through Reading

Looking for concrete ways you can take action and help? United Through Reading fosters relationships and literacy by providing the means for military parents and veterans to read to their children even when deployed across the world. Donors can give money or buy books or support UTR in other ways. To read more about it, click on the photo below:

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Ciao for now!

Gratefully yours,

Betsy

P.S. And now, your moment of Zen…it’s old but it still makes me laugh

The good part starts at minute 5:25.

Calling for Your Contribution to “Moment of Zen”:

What is YOUR moment of Zen? Send me your photos, a video, a drawing, a song, a poem, or anything with a visual that moved you, thrilled you, calmed you. Or just cracked you up. This feature is wide open for your own personal interpretation.

Come on, go through your photos, your memories or just keep your eyes and ears to the ground and then share. Send your photos/links, etc. to me by replying to this email or simply by sending to: elizabethmarro@substack.com. The main guidelines are probably already obvious: don’t hurt anyone -- don’t send anything that violates the privacy of someone you love or even someone you hate, don’t send anything divisive, or aimed at disparaging others. Our Zen moments are to help us connect, to bond, to learn, to wonder, to share -- to escape the world for a little bit and return refreshed.

I can’t wait to see what you send!

And remember, if you like what you see or it resonates with you, please share Spark with a friend and take a minute to click the heart ❤️ below - it helps more folks to find us!